Creepy... I agree, this could be better if you were to expand on it a little more, and several of the ideas, like the candy cane, would be a little better if you didn't state them as bluntly, but for a journal from the point of view of a guy who's in a panic, it really was quite well written.

First and foremost, thank you for reveiwing my poem "Twilight". I know that was ages ago, but I still really appreciate it. Secondly, I think that you have a really interesting idea here. I really like the idea of a diary that shows how little by little the writer starts beleiving there's a conspiracy. I think you could do a little bit more with it, though. The diary entries sometimes come off a little abruptly, and I think with some more detail the writer's terror could come out more. Other than that, though, great job.

Hey Jasp! Tis meh, Zoe!

*Poke*

Jasp? Does he die?

I'm in two minds about this piece. On one hand, if done well, candycane on pillows as a sign of death could be quite sinister if done well. On the other hand, it isn't done well here in my opinion. In fact, it's quite funny. This would be an excellent parody of a Hollywood horror movie: 'When Santa Went Bad', but then again it could also pass for an onion article. : /

Anyway, onto con crit. The main problem with this is because it is just so incredibly cliched in its delivery and also because you take no time at all to build the suspence up. I know it's a short piece, but perhaps you shouldn't be delving into such coagulated (and potentially very amusing) subjects if you don't plan on putting in the commitment to make it seem real. I mean, before even bothering to build up any tension or feelings of unease you jump straight in with SANTA MAKES KIDS DO DRUGS!1. And for the rest of the piece you break writing's cardinal rule: show, don't tell. 'I'm scared!', 'I don't want to die!', etc. etc. The exclamation marks don't make me care anymore than I would do otherwise and make the 'brilliant mind' seem more like a teenage girl. If he's that brilliant, wouldn't he be able to express his feelings more articulately and sound less like Georgia Nicholson? As a result there's no real sense of panic and, as I said before, an overbearing sense of comedy about it.

This is insanely creepy. And definately the weirdest thing I've ever read- but, as you said on Gaia (that's how I found this) it's the weirdest thing you've ever written, so.

What the **? ... Just, what the **? That was... um... really weird. And kinda creepy. Coulda been a lot longer, but I like the idea. Reminds me of that one song by Weird Al about Santa walking in covered in ammo with cheap whiskey on his breath and burning all the reindeer. :D