Oh... nice cliff!

..I had to start this belated review off like that, 'cause it was very much unexpected, heh. At least, not so soon! Interesting.. and poor Krys. Ouch... at least she got one of the guards, but it looks like it might not be so easy to get off of Bronze Path with brute force. At least from how she fared with that other guard... ouch, ouch, ouch.

Still, awesome that you wrote! Awesome, awesome. Good to see that you still manage to keep chapters rolling out every once and a while (compared to me, which is zilch)so... maybe, maybe, you think you might do some writing during the holidays? No school there, right? Lots of free time, right? :) Going to tell us how Krys escapes Bronze Path, right? Please?

I shall bug you, since I now have more license to do so, thanks to your updatingness, when we talk again (probably more often during the holidays, I think).

Well, well, well...looks like you can smash a block after all. Proud of you, sister dear.

Nicely done...interesting setup. So RaJef was trying to trick her...fun. Fun fun fun. I can just imagine how this is going to shape up...

...anyway...keep writing, will you? Ha. I'm still a chapter ahead of you...*blows raspberry*

Happy writing!
'Rej

*cheers happily* Yay! Willow writes again! Wo! *grins*

I shall review as I go, dear.

"So he had captured someone from earth’s puny military." - Maybe "Earth's"? The whole capitalized thing. Maybe PP though! Your story, your convention. *bows gracefully*

Oh boy. Nice. Man, I knew her cyberneticizedness would come in handy! Not that it hasn't already... at least I think it came in handy, but since somebody hasn't WRITTEN in a LONG TIME *cough*... I forget. *smiles sweetly* But yay for Krys!

...see? I told you she didn't die... well... permanently anyway.

"It don’t even pay enough do deal with the damned smell." - ...I think that 'do' should be a 'to', dear.

Question! How can the human...um... oh, never mind. I see that's what the technician came to, erm... heh heh... get hit in the face for. Ouch.

Ugh... diabolical planning, huh. Yeah RIGHT. I have my doubts that Krys'll be brainwashed so easily... nuh uh. But she's ALIVE so that's the most important thing right now... not dead. Of course, except for the whole being-imprisoned-on-Bronze-Path thing... that could be a little tricky to deal with.

Note sarcasm, dear. 'Little' being an understatement... eesh.

Now, you. Please, this was good. It was, goodness, so keep writing. Please please please?

...Rej spoils me 'cause she writes semi-regularily *pokes Arej*. Need you to write lots too!

...it keeps me happy.

Wel...since reviewing chapter eight is impossible for me, seeing as you shuffled things, I'll have to put my chapter eight review here. And as a review - well done for not being in the writing mood, lol.

I must say, I especially like the italiscized commands and the men's responses to her, erm, reawakening.

One question, though - why does the hangar bay have a dirt floor? Usually those have metal floors, you know, for the scifiness of it.

Anyway...yeah. Well done. I'll bug you later.

BB- Arej

Please tell me that's not it. Please.

Oh, and when the one guy is reporting to the CP when Krys' mom's there the the word 'hunt' seems overused. And "LIB"? You mean "MIA"? Why'd you use "LIB"?

You know, the content plus the chapter title is just evil. So, congrats. The...effect is staggering.

Great, as usual. I really like it. But then you already know that, ebcause I've already read it.

*dances* There's always one or two who refuse to believe...

BB- Arej

Write!

Nuh-uh. No way. She ISN'T DEAD! I REFUSE to believe it! 'Cause if she was, then I'd have to ki...hurt you. So I'm going to assume (and I better be right) that she's still alive...

But WHERE? She's probably a prisoner... gah. But there's nothing here! Nothing to tell me!

lol... in other words, I'm still hanging. Grr... we demand more chapters!

...she has to be ok...has to be...

Good. Really good. Liked where she was promoted. Funny. Not much to say now, aybe next chapter...

I didn't know she was going to be investigated until they started talking.

Good. Noice dialouge and stuff.

Did we really have to hear about what she was wearing? Honestly?

For a bit there I was going "AK-47? Those are 10 years old!" I see the humor in using an outdated weapon, but 10 years is qute awhile...

I like the second chapter better than the first, so far. THere were parts inthe continuity of thought that blurped. Just some rough draft choppy feelings in some places. And impractablility. Like the shower thing.

I DO like how you don't make the Colonel completely evil. He's human. Good characterization, I mean. No cardboard.

And...Just at the end of chapter two, would Krys really reveal that much personal information/ feeling to an enemy? Maybe it'd show on her face, but saying it? ::shrug:: I'm still grasping for a handle on the character of the characters, so maybe I'm wrong.

You...she...you...she...

You...

NO! *snarls* Somedays I hate plot twists, plots, cliffhangers and any other thing writers use to antagonize their readers.

Until I use them.

But YOU! *growl* Curse you sister for doing this! *rails* I'll be seeing you tomorrow and you will know my wrath!

BB- Arej

She looked down at her well-padded, but otherwise bare feet. “Not. -- You missed the second inverted commas.

Also, it's kind of a cliché for the bad guy to send gradually increasing numbers of enemies to fight the hero/heroine. When he sends three to her, why does he not just send a hundred, or the entire fleet? He wants to destroy her, doesn't he? I mean, he doesn't care if war is declared because that's what he wants. Plus, are three fighters really that intimidating compared to the massive fleet behind them - that's the intimidating thing.

Again, wow, many many short paragraphs. This could just be personal preference but I really don't like them. *smiles* Feel free to ignore that though.

I'd be wary of having incompetent minions (ie: the random pilots), tis another cliché. However, the following sentence ("Either war was not common to the people of Bronze Path, or RaJef has resorted to sending trainees at her, just to try to intimidate her with sheer numbers.") does eliminate that problem - just thought I'd mention it anyway, as something to avoid doing in future without a good reason like the ones there.

"But he forgot to calculate in the fact that Krys knew she was going to die, just as she knew she was not going to die without taking a few enemies down with her." -- hehe I bet Eric and 'rej go mental at this ^.^ It would be nice if she lives, though.

Hmm, somehow I don't think the CO would personally go onto the ship. Maybe he'd send an NCO?

Those enemy weapons sure sound interesting. It's always good to have something that's not just another star wars blaster.

Good chapter, as always makes me want to read the next chapter. I'm looking forward to seeing the reactions of everyone on Earth, and also what happens to Krys on Bronze Path. Update soon!

Okey dokey, I'm READIN'! Yay for new chapters!

Crit for you: "Bronze Path loomed ever-closer, continuing to be larger in her viewscreen." - why don't you do something like 'continung to grow in her viewscreen'? Just a thought. :P

I really like that idea: plugging herself into her ship. :D

...

...no Krys!! C'MON! GET UP! GETUPGETUPGETUP!... ...

CURSED WIRES...

She better be ok. That's all I can say. You're nasty, you and your cliffs.

I don't want to be hanging for long...

Onward!

"She smiled. “Damn, that felt good. I should do that more often.”" - Lol, I liked that line. ;) It sounded very Willow-ish. :D

"A bloodless smile creased RaJef’s face" - and THAT is a chilling line. Bloodchilling...

Ugh... Bubbles... I hope she fixes him good when she gets to Bronze Path. And I imagine Central won't be too happy when they learn what's happened.

Hopefully they'll help her.

:( Remember what I said about happy endings... SMILES. POSITIVE endings where the hero doesn't die!

And now, dear, you have to UPDATE. HAHAHAHA. (8) Will has to update, Will has to update (8).

So you do that, k?

Alright!! CHAPTER FIVE! YAAH!

As I go...

"Yadda blah" - What can I say, I love that line. :P

Lol, wow, that's a shock. A NICE shock! Promoted twice, wow. :D What was the rank she skipped though? Let me know, 'cause I'm curious, lol. :P

I should ask you for help with military rankings sometime.

Aww... I feel bad for Krys... that's a shame, though it makes unfortunate sense. Xenophobia... ick. You'd think that after all she's done for Earth, people would accept her for who she is, maybe even admire her, but no... a cyborg remains a cyborg to some people, I guess.

This better have a happy ending. You know how I like happy endings, right? RIGHT?