Reviews for Chronicles of the Blue Rider

Reviews For: Chronicles of the Blue Rider

tmelange1 2008-04-29 ch 11,	abuseGreat continuation. Loved the race and the development with Celine. You did a great job with the pacing of it. Bravo!
tmelange1 2008-04-29 ch 10,	abuseGreat continuation. Brought tears to my eyes at the end. Bravo!
XavierStar 2006-07-09 ch 7,	abuseGreat work so far. I did spot a small number of typos, mostly missed spaces. But nothing big.I like the idea of races, except with dragons. Ingenius. You write detail very well, explaining everything enough so that we, as the readers, understand what you are saying, but not overly so and bore us. And of course, now we're curious about the whole Allandra thing, and about what will happen with Celine, and...Very great job. Please update soon!!
XavierStar 2006-07-09 ch 1,	abuseI like the beginning. The way you blended hindsight and realtime was well done, for sure. I also like the story idea, and I'm almost always a big fan of dragons. I see you have more chapters, so I'll read those and review at the end.
diamond-dust08 2006-07-07 ch 6,	abuseSeabiscuit. but dragons instead of thoroughbreds... God, i like it already. the first-person view is good and has a solid feel, like a very successful person relating the experiences that had made him a rising star. it doesn't veer away from the normal touch or what one would expect when telling a story to somebody; the narration is realistic. the rags-to-riches theme is not very well presented, though, but i guess you aren't really aiming for that. Serkis's past is still cloudy, though the episode on the after party served to unveil some of his past on the orphanage. this is one of fics i've read that is very involved in dragons, and unconventional treatment of the traditional dragons in fantasy. whereas dragons are normally quick, powerful, and very intelligent that most of them can speak and regard humans or any bipedal mammal as lowly creatures, in this fic you've made some surprising changes contrary to the convention. description of things concerning dragons are very good and direct--like males being more docile than females, how dragons use fire, their birth, and some other little touches. this makes the story a launchpad to transport readers into a world where dragons really DO exist, and where even dragons obey the laws of physics, and it's a plus point to your credit. the races are also involved enough that readers such as myself won't notice at first the small size of the scrollbar of the browser when viewing chapter 4. the obstacles are ingenious and the racetrack inventive enough, but the race results is of course fixed. although Serkis and Elon suffered a setback on the bridge, it didn't matter a jot that of course they'd win, which is not entirely unexpected but i admit i'm a little jaded at the convention of "a novice with a hidden past enters a contest and mysteriously wins" thing. there's such a thing as beginner's luck, yes, but dragons are not horses, however much they are tamed. the characters are well-defined, in contrast to characters that i call "paper cutouts" or stereotypical two-dimensional characters. relationships and motivations are not very innovative but you have only six chapters yet so i won't be the best judge of them. Celine is the requisite beautiful heiress, the Baron the requisite good-guy-turned-second-father (or maybe the villain-who-has-a-financial-ulterior-motive) to the main character, and Serkis in my mind looks just like Tobey Maguire. very good, and very well written. the plot is good enough to get going with, while the pacing is not too fast, but not too normal either. and as i said, the style is what definitely gives this a good rating; you make readers a part of Serkis's mind and his memories. keep writing and i will be staying tuned for your updates. PS. you can head over my page and try to get back at me XD by reviewing any of my works; i'd appreciate hearing from you.
tmelange1 2006-04-22 ch 5,	abuseGreat continuation. Post more soon, please.
tmelange1 2006-04-22 ch 4,	abuseLoved the race! You did a great job with description. The solution for indenting was a little distracting, though.
tmelange1 2006-04-22 ch 2,	abuseGreat continuation. Kudos.
tmelange1 2006-04-22 ch 1,	abuseGreat beginning! Made me laugh and was very interesting. Kudos.
Badger250 2005-12-19 ch 1,	abuseGreat start. I can't wait to read how they bond and what happens in the future. Update soon!

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