Reviews for The Sweet Color White

Reviews For: The Sweet Color White

SirScott 2007-01-26 ch 4,	The pale boy is an interesting character. Pretty good descriptions, it leave me wonder why the boy is in the place. Maybe, he witnessed a murder and they don't want him to talk? Good writing and update as soon as possible. ~SirScott
And Your Little Dog Too 2006-12-02 ch 2,	o me likie like like!! lol, poor marty martin kid's got it rough :)
Sweet Child 2006-12-02 ch 2,	These two chapters were really interesting. You've made a solig basis for a great horror story. The only thing that you could work on is to lengthen the chapters. I mean, it's all so interesting, and then you just end the chapter. Oh, well. Also, the image that you conjured when he took the pills, and the nurse just stood unaffected next to him while he suffered, that was... disturbing. Well, please continue this story, and this time update before a year passes.
The Breakdancing Ninja 2006-11-30 ch 2,	I really liked the descriptions that accompanied Martin entering into his dream-like state and the "glorious dark shadows". I'm usually off-set by mystery, because I'm afraid of an FF VII re-hash, but this seems to be going in a strange direction. Why is it that nurses are depicted as being so quaint and un-feeling? I've noticed that motif in a lot of stories that have med people in them. [In Martins dreams is where he could find refuge.] Martin's. [It was something different about it, there was complete absence of white and here he could feel like he was meant to be there, to be apart of this city.] a part. [This happened to be day 150 by his mind.] And possibly, "This happened to be day one hundred and fifty outside of his mind."? The middle section is unnecessary and breeds frustration. If the nurses and doctors know the situation, the audience will want immediate gratification; the "TELL ME TELL ME" factor goes up by like, nine points. Keep it subtle and interesting--limit the perspective a bit and let us be a part of what Martin is going through. Skip straight to the third section, which is infinitely more interesting than a conversation between characters ABOUT the main character--we probably won't be getting to know them anyway. Well, hopefully this was helpful. Come back to my site any time. I would like that very much, actually. ;.;
The Breakdancing Ninja 2006-11-30 ch 1,	Thank you for dropping by. So, what I could assess from this intro is that he's probably committed because of something terrible--like murder, maybe? That's what I think of when I think of the color red. I agree with the story's sentiment about white. It isn't particularly soothing. It's bright and sort of vindictive, in a way. I mean, when I grew up, white was always purity. But when you look at the sun, its rays are hot, white and they hurt a lot--it's sort of a condescension, the color white. Or how we've come to associate the color white with everything good and holy; the irony is that, to be enveloped in pure white isn't a good thing. We can't stand it. And most people who are placed in institutions that are white are usually nuts or sick. [The onyx numbers and the slowly moving second hand were the only color that seemed to sooth him now.] *soothe. [He pulled his shaking hands up to his head] There's no punctuation at the end of this sentence. I think a more active sentence would be "He clapped his hands over his ears to make it stop." [All of a sudden a pain erupted inside his head.] I liked this description. The way it animates pain makes me feel like having a migraine of my own. I think I'll read ahead to the second chapter; I want to know what's wrong with this kid.
Ryustorm 2006-11-30 ch 2,	o... yes what was i going to say? strange strange more more. eloquently put i say. i think elizabeth is a vampire! and she turned this guy into one too! and he hates her for it and then he is going to go all mental and start killing people. i heard that people give depressive people lithium to stop them feeling anything, allthough the drug in this story doesn't seem to be doing any good to the patient! anway i am really interested. so update.
Fell-InLove-With-My-Nightma... 2005-12-19 ch 1,	Rather interesting. You have a nice way of pulling someone into your writing.
InkandIntrospection 2005-12-19 ch 1,	I'm interested in where this is going. I like the use of colors to describe emotions. It paints an impressive face.

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