Interesting poem. =D Maranwe Telrunya

I like the backward-ness of this, cool poem!

oh, how beautiful!

i love it. I don't know why, but it somehow struck a chord with me. I don't think there's much you can change, except maybe the ending, make it more absolute, maybe.

Keep writing!

It's beautiful and wistful. I can't understand why it's in humor, but it's rather good.

This is amazing. I love how you twisted and changed everything and the rhyming was beautiful. Definitely one of my favourites and the last two lines were intense and true.

~~Trinity

Holy poop... I really like this. I really like this a whole lot.

That was good, it's the type of thing that i'd write. The first 4 lines are my fave. it made me think of what the world is lacking, and what it needs to improve on. It makes me see how harsh the world really is, it got me thinking.good poem, keep writing.

I can tell you enjoy wordplay. That makes me smile.

Write on.