i really hope u update soon! its totally ** awesome! and i luv how detailed u can get! awesome story and ur a fabulous writer! XD

Like normal I love your story!

SHWEETNESS! hahahaha =]
i like it ubberdoobers much!
hehe
you HAVE to update!
omg. i think ill seriuosly like die if u dont =[

plzplzplzzplzplzplzzlzplzplzplzplzplzplzplzlzpzlplzpzlzplz
plz ^^
heeh 100/10!

Aw, this is so cute and funny! ^^ I love it. Although I'm curious as to how it will work out between Daryl, Camden, and Jake. Update soon?

yow, very good written, I really like your style ^^ I'd love to see this story continue...

I really appreicate your voice. The writng isn't needlessly wordy or a chore to get through yet it's not the mindless drivel of someone who has no idea what grammer is.
I can empithize with the few and far between updates because I'm notorious for not updating after like...a year. So I can't hold it against you. I just hope you still plan on updating. I would really like that.
You had to make Jake so damn likeable! I fear the time that comes where Cam and Daryl actually get it on because it seems inevitable. Yes poor Jake.
Please let Daryl have some control and wait until Cam and Jake break up on friendly terms xD.

Hah! I love it.

wow, awesome story! Don´t know how I missed reading it for so long :) Well, I don´t know if you´re still writing but, hope you update soon!

I adore Jake so much - but Darly and Camden are so meant to be. I have a feeling that Adrian might come back into the picture.

Plus Jamie + Kevin = hot idea which I hope you do. ♥ Great story!

Loving this story, hope you'd update soon. Off to read your other stories.

Greeting's Fountain Pen, It must be hard pressed being at college and attempting to juggle a side story at the same time, eh? Well, never less, I love where this is going, and how it's so. Cam and Jake's date was the cutest thing--ever! Keep up the good work! There were only minor misspellings and a few akward tenses.

OH wow. That was totally breathtaking! (And now, I must defy the deficiencies of English and state WHY it was breathtaking...as soon as I get my breath back to say it because obviously you need breath to...)

Sorry about that. It's just that the chapters get better and better and better and better and better...

Oh dear. I'm starting again. Silly girl, Dana. Very silly girl. (I'm, uh, talking to myself. That's also a bad sign.)

Jake indeed is, as Camden put it, almost too good to be true. (Stress on ALMOST, because he isn't quite.) I like to think of Jake as the good person that we slap every day in ignorance. (I feel very guilty about it, too.)

(And I don't think I'll be able to make this review very long or coherent, because the librarian is trying to kick me out. Yeah, I'm at the library. It's a long story, but I'm totally unable to log in to FictionPress at home. Has something to do with my parents.)

Anyway. This is the kind of chapter that really makes me feel fuzzy and warm after an entire day of rain, and yet sort of wistful at the same time. Fuzzy and warm for Camden and Jake, wistful for Daryl. There isn't a single character in here that you just watch while nodding your head and thinking, 'Yeah yeah yeah. Get on with it.' Each one has his separate feelings, thoughts, secrets...and we can only hope to be able to discover some more of them soon!

Jake's 'gentleman' etiquette was adorable. And at the same time it wasn't corny or sugary or forced. It breathed. (Another bad description, but...please forgive me for it.) He's really the kind of guy who is willing to listen, willing to give feelings a chance, willing to love, etc., etc., etc. He really reminds me more of Justin in this one. Really really.

(Oh God, save me from the Asian librarian's wrath! ... Yeah, I live in Asia. Another long story.)

Very hot kisses, by the way. VERY. But I won't dwell too much on those or Justin will disown me from wherever he is. And I actually do appreciate the effort you're making to really show the connection between two people rather than going for just plain "Oh, ain't this hott?!"

Favorite sentence.

“Now get to bed, twerp. It’s way past your bedtime.”

Aw, cute Daryl trying to be tough. He's feeling a lot, I guess. I also have to say that I love Daryl's...monologues? It shows the inner him that seldom gets expressed in words. I LOVE it. And I'm sure Justin would have loved this story, too. He had a fetish for, um, Cam's type.

I'm usually better at expressing how much I like a story, but this one just totally blows me away. I will never call myself a writer after this. I'll be a wannabe. Hee. Anyway, I worship you. I will worship you until your next update, when I will, no doubt, WORSHIP you.

But take all the time you need. Hurried chapters come out as crap. (Oh don't I know.)

Here's for you, the best always!

Follow the river,

Dana

P.S. 1. I really apologize for this way crappy review. I'll do it over if you like. Just...slap me and order me to, and I will. As long as I get to read 'Step in to the Unexpected,' I'll be happy. Live happy, dream happy.

P.S. 2. And I love you! (Did I tell you that?) That's why you're on my Favorites List. You would be way up there if I had any say with the order. Meh, bad FictionPress. Bye!

Oh wow. Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow.

Oh wow.

(I'm hopeless.)

Weird thing is, I don't hate Jeremiah. I don't want his ** to get kicked. I don't wish him to hell. I actually kind of like him. Feel for him may be a more accurate phrase, but yeah. It's all due to more of your brilliance, I guess. It's impossible to just hate him. The characteristic thing about your characters is that they SEEM to have absolutes on the surface. This guy bad, this guy good. But then at some point you realize, 'Uh oh. No. VERY wrong assessment.' And what's more, you realize that you might just have been living with that kind of mindset. It's like the story is telling us, 'You think that guy is an **, huh? Look again. He may be just like you.'

I can identify with Jeremiah. I've never dated anyone, but I have had a fairly severe crush, and I know that hate is the closest thing to love that you'll be able to find on the planet. Yeah, maybe he's just acting like that because he's a bastard like Jake said, but I thought maybe, just maybe, Jake was wrong too. (Or maybe I'm wrong to think that. Kick me if I am.) And what really draws me to Jeremiah is that he's afraid. I think he's afraid of losing the one thing (status) that can sort of make up for the thing he lost (Daryl). All this is assuming that he really did have something for Daryl. But I find that pure pride hurt doesn't last that long. It has to have something underneath it to last. (Again, kick if I'm wrong.)

Jake. Is. Sublime. Do you know why 'Step in to the Unexpected' is my FAVORITE of all your stories? A lot of it has to do with Camden, of course, who's sweet and sensitive without being the 'please protect me' type of twink. You can feel that he's strong in his own principles...and his passions. Perfect combination. But even more of it has to do with Jake, not only because I am a total softie when it comes to Jake-like guys, but because he reminds me rather painfully of a very close gay friend of mine. He died in a car accident in 2003, and after looking at too many pictures of him that hurt because they were just so STILL, reading about Jake brought it all back. It's like seeing Justin (that was my friend's name; even starts with the same letter as Jake's name) going around again, except Jake has the freedom to date the guy he likes...something that Justin never had. It's an odd feeling, but somehow it gives me a lot. I can't really explain, but it does. Jake is like the perfect guy, but not so much that you can't believe he might be living next door. You've done a beautiful job with him.

And I also really like the sexual tension that's building up, and how we can really go along with it, seeing it, feeling it, almost...smelling it. Everything is extremely visual, almost like a movie instead of written word. I've NEVER been able to do that. It's great because it's true writing. Not saying "This is this. That is that. Okay?" but letting us really see it for ourselves and live it.

That last swimming scene was divine. And I think we got a brief peep into Daryl's not-so-** heart, too! Thanks so much!

Here's my favorite sentence for the chapter.

'I knew very little about swimming, but I did know that he was absolutely flawless.'

Flawless in more ways than one. You can really feel controlled but strong emotion here. The side of Daryl that just might be as sensitive as Cam. The side that just wants to let go and feel but at the same time can't. Flawless indeed. As is your writing style. I worship you even more. (Uh, not that it will mean much coming from a silly girl like me, but...)

Okay. Chapter Two, second review for 'Step in to the Unexpected.' I'll, uh, try to be a little more well-behaved in this one. Can't promise, though. (After seventeen years of living, it has finally come to my attention that I should never make promises.)

And again, I have something to tell you before I really start reviewing. I forgot to say in the previous review that the chapter ending was PERFECT. Chapter endings, depending on whether they're good, bad, or so-so, usually influence my idolatry of the particular author CONSIDERABLY. Especially the ending of the first chapter. Yours was absolutely...delicious? It didn't try to pull off anything oh-so-brilliant and new. It was just a little bit of teenage sarcasm that really brought more realism to the story and made me connect more with Cam (which is always a good thing when you're reading about him).

Okay. Chapter Two had me really had me laughing and smiling. I'm saying it again, but you really are a goddess. A GENIUS. It's only the geniuses who can take cliche plotlines and make people fall in love with them. And you seem to ace everyone in that department. I would envy you if you were just a bit less as good as you are, but unfortunately, when someone is as brilliant as you are, it's impossible to envy them. Can only drool and adore. And dream hopelessly to be like...someday.

(Incoherent sentences. Blegh. Sorry.)

All right. The dialogue in this chapter was top notch. TOP notch. I could really imagine teenage guys talking like that. I really suck at description, so I always look forward to any opportunity to study good dialogue, and you've given me tons of that! Thank you so much! I think what I've learned most is that sentences that could look kind of awkward on screen actually sound realistic when you say them out loud. I write really pretentious, stiff dialogue, so I can only hope that someday I'll be able to pull off that happy medium between cool and awkward. You're totally in control of the awkwardness when it exists, and AWESOME at making us feel each character's emotions. I really admire that in you, because you pull it off without really going indepth into description and saying, "Such-and-Such looked such-and-such and had a character of such-and-such." Hate it when people do that. But you manage to make all your characters come alive with spare but colorful brushstrokes (keystrokes?). It's sublime, I tell you. That's one of the traits in a writer that I respect and want the most. I'm really learning a lot out here (although it'll probably take me a lifetime to put into practice what I've learned).

I really cracked up where Camden is horrified by the 'God knew what loud, emo rock' in Daryl's car. I listen to loud emo rock sometimes myself, but I could really sympathize with Cam on one of my Enya days. Or Radiohead days. Whatever. I think this is one of my Enya days, so...

The way Cam slips up is wonderfully natural. I could really SEE him doing that and Daryl looking horrified for the moment and so on and so forth.

Dover is cool. All boys' schools are cool. Poor Camden, though. I'm sure with his romantic heart he hates being felt up. I hate people noticing me like that, too. No strings attached WOW stuff is just...ugh.

Jamie is CUTE. He kind of reminds me of a character in my own story, except mine has mental problems and Jamie doesn't. The way he rambles is really believable, though. I've seen a lot of writers (myself included) try to come up with rambling and end up spewing forcedness. (Is that a word?) FORCEDNESS. It's like rambling for the sake of rambling. But yours is really natural, and just endears Jamie more. Cutie, he should get Kevin. But that's all up to you, of course.

I love how you're not diving into sex obsessed ramblings or images of Daryl and Kevin, uh, doing each other. You're letting the characters spool themselves and come to life, and I really appreciate that. I think that's what real writers do. (Note to self: I am not a real writer. Depressing. But true.)

Favorite sentence for Chapter Two (see, I said it was a habit)

“Cam, this is Jason, my best friend and one of the few at this damned institution who probably isn’t out to blow you.”

How comforting. One out of a hundred. VERY comforting, I'm sure. Especially when that one is next to a voracious Adam Jamison. Ahem. By the way, Camden's innocent blushing was almost too sweet. But that was very real, too. "It's, um, nice." I would be VERY uncomfortable with someone touching my hair. Hair is private. Face is private. Lips are private. Eyes are private. Everything on the head is private. That's my code, anyway.

Everything about this story comes together to make it more and more real. (I, um, had a dream about 'Step in to the Unexpected' after I read it for the first time. Yeah, 'first,' because this is like...the seventh? Or eighth? Please don't kill me!) Putting Seth in was a great touch, too. Do you know, it's a lot harder to describe physically unattractive people than to describe gorgeous ones? I'm sure you do. You described Seth in a way that made me able to really picture his physical shortcomings, but really sympathize with him and uh (it's kind of weird), want to see him smiling and happy. It's brilliant. (See, I told you I hate the shortcomings of language?)

I'm starting to ramble again, so next chapter!

Okay. Before I review, I have a confession to make. I have been, uh, just reading your work for a long time. (SORRY!) I have this really, really terrible habit of procrastinating when it comes to reviews. And what's worse is that at the end, the reviews don't make sense or they're just a load of bossy...uh...crap. (Sorry for the bad language.) I, um, so that's off my chest. I WILL review now, though, since it's something I've been wanting to do for a very long time.

All righty. This is one of my very favorite stories on FictionPress.Com. And that's as in 'FAVORITE!' (I hope exclamation marks don't irritate you. Or capital letters, for that matter. I kind of like both.) I also respect you very, very much for your writing skills.

You are a GODDESS. Swear to God, you are. There's this very unique glitter about each character you create. And I'm not saying 'glitter' in the way that's supposed to mean 'all flash and no flesh,' (I am semi-insane) I mean 'glitter' in the way that makes you addicted. ADDICTED. Really, it's possible to get high on your stories. And as for your characters, they 'glitter,' just like I said, but there's also a jadedness to all of them that keeps them human and pulsing (uh, excuse me for the weird word; it's usually reserved for disco music and uh, things down under, I know). You really portray them in a way that makes them accessible even to someone like me, who's never been in a club, never drunk alcohol, never gotten drunk, never dated anyone, never had sex, never driven a car, never done drugs, etc., etc., etc. Your stories are like a chunk of bare world. (I know, my descriptions suck, but I really am trying out here!) And that's something I always, ALWAYS appreciate. The realness. It's beautiful.

Okay. The first thing I really like about chapter one is the voices. Daryl's voice, Camden's voice - they're both PERFECT. Perfect because they're flawed. (Eh, look at my sucky bumper sticker lines.) Daryl is the cocky and oversexed teenage man-**, but I can really sense this feeling of loneliness and um, I don't know, fear of showing his heart to others in him. (Feel free to kick me if I interpret any of your lovely characters wrong. Kick me HARD.) I know a boy who's kind of like this. Not that he's gay or has that much sex, just that he has a lot of feelings inside but is scared to show them because he thinks that people will use them to hurt him. Make fun of him. That kind of thing. He's an ** because he's scared not to be. This feeling, mixed with Daryl's jadedness, makes for a really strong, uh, pathos. (My review skills suck, so I have to use fancy words.) I think you have a really realistic teenage portrait going here. Daryl sounds like he has a lot in him, but he's tired of things, which makes him forget the 'a lot' in him and focus on the superficial stuff that he can stay safe and undisturbed in. Camden, on the other hand, sounds like sunshine. (Oh dear, that came out really corny.) But I really mean it. He's not an angel, but he has this sweet, caring feel that doesn't lose touch with reality. (I could NEVER manage to do that, by the way. You're brilliant.) And it's weird, because he's not really SAYING anything that's so goody-goody or anything, it's just that he has a very distinct aura that makes you fall in love with him, even though you do recognize that his past bad experiences have left him more than a little sensitive and...scarred (?).

(I also like Camden's mom and Daryl's dad. They're not perfect, either, but Karen has something akin to Camden's 'I care and I try' feel, while Eric has a human vulnerability that saves him from being tossed aside with a "Goddamn you, you bastard, I DESPISE you!" Come to think of it, that's kind of a common trait with Daryl...I think?)

Since I'm babbling, I'll move on. (I'm really sorry about not being able to give you the polished review that this story deserves. I really, really am.)

Favorite sentence for Chapter One (this is a habit I have)

"And they think sending us to an all boys school will turn us into men."

This was the one I could pinpoint most easily. It was absolutely hilarious. Kevin isn't half bad!

It's a wacky idea, actually, a school population being almost entirely gay (even if it IS an all boys' school), and I suppose some people might say that the 'Boy X Stepbrother' concept is WAY cliche. Well, yeah, there are quite a few stories of that plotline on FictionPress.Com, but I have yet to see one that comes even close to this. This chapter had me totally hooked. Made you more divine (diviner?). I'm getting all mixed up trying to describe how much I liked it and getting frustrated because English is DARN stupid and doesn't have the capacity to pull it off. DAMN. (Ops, sorry again. I usually don't swear at all, but the wishy-washyness of language is sometimes just...)

Another thing I like is that you made Camden a swimmer. I swim, too, and it makes it that much easier to connect with him. I don't go to school, though, so I've never been able to swim on a school team. Oh well. Brilliant chapter. Brilliant characters. Brilliant start. Brilliant take on what's becoming a cliche. (I love cliche plotlines, by the way. No one can write a cliche plotline the same way. NO ONE.)

I'll see you next chapter? (I've never been good at review endings.)

CHEERS TO FOUNTAIN PEN!

Dana