Reviews for How to Write a Review

Reviews For: How to Write a Review - Reviews: Page 1 of 11

Choja 2008-07-15 ch 8,	abuseHello Burnt Bread, I just finished reading "How to Write a Review" and I thought that it was truly a work of art, because the Fictionpress community needs this guide. So badly. I hope to read the next chapter soon. Have a nice day. -Cho
Solemn Coyote 2008-05-27 ch 8,	abuseOkay, so I'm going to deviate from my normal reviewer migratory pattern (your word choice, not mine. flaps wings) with this story (?) and only review once. I'm also going to be mildly unhelpful, because I'm really not sure how to improve this. It's a solid psychological and philosophical analysis of the tribulations of both authors and reviewers on this expansive site, but it's aware of that fact, realizes it's deadly dull, and dilutes it with a goodly share of humor. There are about five too many pregnancy jokes, but they somehow managed to make me laugh, so it's all good. And that's about all the coherent English I can muster at the moment, I think. Probably best that I stop here, or else the rest of the review will read something like: "I can-has speaks language now is yes/good ne?" Which, I would imagine, hurts your brain as much as it does mine. -SC, signing out is/yes.
Jestry 2008-04-17 ch 8,	abuseDear Burnt Bread, Wow. I like how so many of your reviews for this thing follow your format. 1. I read your "guide". Of course. Or I wouldn't be addressing you, or using your nifty 4 step review format. 2. You're pretty interesting. Hum. I appreciate all the time you've put into teaching us how to write a good review. It's all nifty and organized too. Yay. (: 3. I really don't know what I can tell you to improve on. It's pretty good. And since this thing is mostly opinion based, well. Eh. 4. reverse pyscology ftw, u killed my grammar skillz. jk.
Laura Elizabeth 2008-03-13 ch 8,	abuseDear Burnt Bread: Can bread really be burnt? Or would that be toast? Is burnt bread toast or burnt toast? Is this an indication that burnt bread and toast are one in the same? Is the term toast redundant? I feel like toast sort of got the short end of the stick in this deal. It should be given the credit it deserves and you're totally stealing its spotlight. On a more serious note, or maybe not, I love your story, but I do question your species. Are you from Qudrant five of the planet Teflon as well? They always told us reading would lead to pregnancy. This was an amazing idea you had. The humor is outstanding (especially how you keep throwing in pregnancy at any given moment.) Almost all of the points you made were dead on( I found myself nodding quite a bit.) I really love how you characterize each type of reviewer. Anon. reviews are a pain, especially when there's no e-mail address and you want to reply. I usually only leave them when I'm too lazy to log in. Shame on me. I do really love this, and I hope when you find the time that you might update. I'm glad I stumbled upon this piece. It gave me a good laugh for the day. Oh, you should also have a reviewer catagory called "Rambling reviewers." That would be the catagory I fall under =) The Emo Kid song mention was hilarious by the way. Ok, I'm done. Well for now anyway. Awesome story, going in my favorites -Laura Ps. OH EM GEE SUMTING IS RONG WITH MYSPACE 4 me 2?!?!?!?~11?!?!@1 Netspeak is the work of Satan.
friend 49 2007-11-12 ch 7,	abuseDEAR LOVELY GORGEOUS INTELLIGENT BURNT BREAD, I have a koala named Nelly. She is my best friend. Too close? Nah. We share our underwear! P.S. I am 8 1/2 months in. :o ALL YOUR FAULT. By the way: You have been foured, also known as: author alerted favorite authored favorite storied story alerted. DO YOU FEEL SPESHUL. U SHOOD. (p.s. special is spelled special. should is spelled should. AND I DO NOT MAKE TYPOS NORMALLY IT WAS JUST MY STUPID CONTACTS. :( NOW YOU MADE ME SAD. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.) Yes, I know. This review was more about me than you. I know. I'm very self-centered that way. Forgive me.
friend 49 2007-11-12 ch 8,	abuseDear Beernt Breed, I am a model reevewer. Ay am the culest kid u will ever no. Deed i tul u that i huv a koola nmed shaba? she iz kewl. AND OMG I DIDN'T. DID YOU SEE WHAT KELLY SAID TO ME ON MYSPACE? IT WAS LIKE OMG I WAS LIKE OMG SO MAD AT HER AND OMG I LIKE WANTED TO LIKE BLOW LIKE UP LIKE I WAS LIKE SO LIKE AGRAVEETED! GUDBIE I WIL MIZ U WHEN I COOT MEESELF! but omg srsly kellys comment was like omg! love, friend49 (who you know you love) p.s. due friday
friend 49 2007-11-12 ch 5,	abuseDEAREST FROZEN BREAD (I'M SUCH A REBEL!)- I have just finished reading chapter two. In fact, that is a lie! I review as I read. Am I a regular rebel or what? (yes, you with the monobrow) I cracked up right there and my sister looked at me like 'what is she doing?' Kodak moment, right? I think you should be a comedian. Really. You’re from the CIA. In which case, I had nothing to do with that thing Buenos Aires. You know, the thing with the thing on the thing-ding. I'll ask Agent O'reilly about my involvement with that case. You might want to move. Although most of this was lovely, I. Um. Well. EITHER YOU ARE AN AMAZING WRITER OR I AM AN IDOLIZING LACKEY. AND I HAVE NO INTELLIGENCE. iamsosorry. :( I will try harder! Well you might want to consider keeping the exclamation marks out of your sentences. (Exclamation marks are straight from Satan. Reallytrulyreally.) "email please me hepl you cuz work i love. Cuz I'm xpert at ryting. USPrisedint" It took me four tries to understand that. GOOD JOB. IN CASE THE MESSAGE WAS NOT CLEAR: I REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU, AND I WANT TO LIVE ON IN YOUR HEARTS. p.s. i'm pregnant
Tragically Charismatic 2007-09-30 ch 8,	abuseDear Bread, This is a fantastic idea. Reviewing is something that is not often discussed, and because of this there are plenty of people out there that seem incapable of submitting a decent review. [I fear myself to be one of them.] You are a highly skilled writer, and the light-hearted approach to a no doubt serious topic is extremely appealing. The humour sprinkled throughout keeps the reader's interest peaked while the piece itself is very informative and helpful. Brilliant job! xx
felicia13 2007-08-25 ch 8,	abuseI would be very interested to hear a song called 'Stab Me Rip Stab Stab,' for obvious reasons. Or, at least, they're obvious to me. Reason 2 will make people die of no apparent cause, I think. They'll just drop dead walking down the street and their last thought will be, "I wish I hadn't read chapter 8 of BurntBread's 'How to Write a Review!'" How does that make you feel? 6: I think you're just hung up on becoming a Jedi. "Some people tend to think that the reading is optional. READING IS NOT OPTIONAL." Sad but true. Thanks for pointing it out. "Email: litteboysturnmeon at tastythings dot com (I do not like young boys. They don’t taste good. Ok, that sounded wrong. I’ll just stop digging this hole. Arg, that also sounded perverted too. I’ll just stop writing this now and move on. I am not a paedophile.)" Bread, you make me laugh. dies a little bit from lack of oxygen from laughing too much Thanks, Bread, for this completely informative and not-at-all useless guide. I now know how to be a better person and live my life without adding to the Greenhouse Gases already causing so-called "Global Warming" the earth over. Felicia.
felicia13 2007-08-25 ch 7,	abuseAnonymous reviews are my worst enemy. Usually Anon. and Flames go together because, for whatever reason, the people who try to make you kill yourself don't want it to be traced back to them. Wimps. Anywho, I'm glad you didn't crack the pregnant jokes out again. It might make me spontaneously combust. No lie. Spamviews are equally as annoying as the Anon./Flames. Rawr. And I hate Happy Reviews because... well, they tell you nothing. It's ok to gush, just gush with purpose. Why can't we cover the delightful reviews that tell you about spelling errors and have genuine feedback for the story/poem? Felicia.
Herineca 2007-08-23 ch 8,	abusewell, i was just going to put this on alert because I'm in kind of a rush, but it just seems weird not to review a story about how to review, dont ya think? any-who, this is really good! obviously, i have not taken many pointers, but it might be due to the fact that i am unusually cold right now and the sound of the printer is driving me insane... BUT! i really hope you update this soon! it got heaps of good laughs out of it. especially all the pregnancy jokes and '(yes, you with the monobrow)' (or something along those lines...i forget things really easily)
Greenfire42 2007-08-20 ch 1,	abuseI found this as spam.
Abysmal Tr3pidation 2007-04-22 ch 6,	abuseHey Burnt Bread. This is an awesome idea, I jsut though I'd let you know that I hope to read all of you work and have your baby. Lolz This is so classic. You're officially my fave writer on this site, well... After Wyrdwolf anyway (Sensitive,funny,poetic guys are hot. You and Wyrdwolf seem close, maybe you could put in a good word for me?) Keep writing. ~~Indiana~~
Colorful Collision 2007-04-17 ch 4,	abuseHello Burnt Bread , I just finished reading How to Write a Review and I thought that you are an alien because I am one too. I hope to conquer Earth with my battalion of anal probers. You have been thus recruited. No really, I found this story hilarious. Although, I do have to ask, are you by any chance, hmm... I don't know... pregnant? I've never encountered a story about how to write a review before. But that may just be me. It made me laugh. Like HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA kind of laughing. You're so very talented. And as you, and everybody else reading this can tell, I am a bad reviwer. Whoops. Jadie Bunny.
felicia13 2007-04-14 ch 6,	abuseHello Burnt Bread, I just finished reading 'How to Write a Review' chapter 6, "Chapter Summary" and I thought that it was wonderful, you are truly a great inspiration to mankind. I will follow your work until the day I die because your writing is fluent, your descriptive paragraphs color my dull world and your characterization makes me horny. I hope to read all of your work and have your baby. Have a nice day. Felicia. p.s. Not really. I hate you, Bread, for brainwashing me to leave that review after getting me pregnant and refusing to pay child support.

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