I suppose that you knew THIS wasn't the truth. You love him, and i'm so happy for you. :)

I disagree with the negative commentors on this poem. It's obvious to me you're just writing what you were feeling. Maybe you could write a more 'in depth' poem on the whys but in my opinion it's not necessary.

I agree with Felony, medear. This isn't exactly poetry, it's just prose with line breaks. Y'know the rules: you want to rant, you want to whine, you want anything like that - go get a livejournal. That's what they're for. You want to WRITE, come to fictionpress, but be prepared for negativity, be prepared for criticism, because that's what we DO.

Well, not so much any more. At the moment, we seem to be having an influx of generic, faux-emo whinging teens creating their own heavily bracketted clique. Fictionpress is a sell-yourself sort of place. I don't mean it's an Internet red-light district (though it comes pretty close at times...), I mean that you have to decide what makes you different from the other hundreds of thousands of writers on here, all looking for mass adulation (because let's face it, that's why we're here...)

And then you have to capitalise on it. And write about it. Because that's the only way you'll get better.

As it stands, this poem-that-isn't-exactly is nothing special. There aren't any poetic devices, nor, for that matter, any particularly pretty language. There's no particular structure, no particular...well, to be frank, there's no particular POINT. There's nothing to drag the reader in, nor to make them stay.

And yeah, I get that it is just your thoughts, but then, surely, if you post it on fictionpress, you MUST want to know what people think about it, right?

If not, get yourself a livejournal, medear, you're in the wrong place here.

Angel, this is waht you need to say about your cutting. :( i knew he was a schmuck

Agreed Felony you're an ** shut up...She didn't even have to share the poem with us if she didn't want to she wrote whart SHE was eeling not what you wanted to hear if you want to make someones life a story for your entertainment go and find someone who is close to you and hurting and ask them to tell you all the gory details for your amusement. As for the poem I thought it was really meaningful ALOT of girls would be able to relate to ti and wouldn't need to kno the whole story and I'm sure you would rather not tell it over and over again. good job keep writing the way you want to! >:D

man what an **.

This has a lot of feeling, but you know, this kind of poetry is really trite to some audiences. It's the same "I'm depressed, now I want to cut, now I want to die." It doesn't make me want to care about you because it's just so done again and again. You say he made you laugh and your heart complete, and obviously it must've been a special way, but there is nothing else. Why did you live a lie? Why did he make you feel loved? Why did you put up with him? The audience wants to know this. Actually, I do, but I'm part of the audience. Again, like the cliche teen-whine poem, not that you're whining, is that it's just telltelltelltelltelltell. Please showshowshowshowshowshow. It'd make this poem a LOT better, trust me.