Beautiful story, and I have to admit, I always love a feel-good ending. That being said, there is something about your writing style, some simplicity that lends itself to your words, that brings a musical quality to your prose. There aren't any extra descriptions or adjectives, just plain, simple ideas that bring emotion straight from the heart. Great job, and I think I'll add this to my favorites list, just for good measure.

Hey there again.

Haha, I have to bring this up... do you remember the first ever reviews I sent you? I think it was 'The Thrill of the Chase.' I thought that since it was slightly romantic, you MUST be a girl... mostly because almost all of the people I've met on fictionpress have been chicks. It was a horrible assumption, but I made it.

Anyway - I believe I gushed over the male protagonist. I think? It was one of the guys in your story. But then I realized that you were a guy, and I laughed SO hard! Hahaha! I couldn't believe I'd gushed like that to you.

But as always, your stories are gushable, especially this one. I found it delightfully mushy. I've become more sarcastic toward stories like this over the years, but oh, it still touches me - I'm pretty sure it's because it's in my DNA to love these stories. =)

And I did love it. As usual, the writing was captivating, but it was the happenings, the 'plot' [even though it's a one shot] is what got me. 'Cause I'm a chick. =)

So... keep it up! Sorry I rambled. But you know me; I do that.

~Sarah

Aww. Cute. He's a guy every girl dreams for.

Would like to see this extended-but that's me, I like to know the backstory of *everything*. God's gift, I guess. ;P

*hoeps for more* see ya round. -psalms

.. i like it

Oh my gosh I absolutely LOVED it!

ok, this is only the second piece of yours tht i have read, and i must say, i absolutely love your style...i found you on maranwe telrunya's page, so thanks to her for showing me one of my new faves...i love your honest writing style...seeing it from a christian point of view, the one spot w/ language could possible be edited, on the other hand, it definatly keeps it real, but its minor...good job

Wow,that's pretty oustanding. After getting through the first half, I was completely seeing myself standing with a girl I had the same feelings about. However, my ending was a little different. I like your descriptions of people, and the tone in your dialogue. Very outstanding. BTW, I got your name from Maranwe . . .

Great story! A little slow at the begining but good and sentimental all the same.

Hey... I said I'd read your stories,so here I am. =^)I really, really like this story. It is well written, and a good short story. Again, you already know my opinion, the story could do without Jay's saying "You sneaky B*!..." Perhaps you can use a different word? In Christ, Maranwe

I think everyone's been there; feeling like the only person who doesn't have the courage to ask for a dance. Actually, I thought it was more of a female emotion, but, hey, that just comes to show how little I know about guys.

On a technical note, this piece comes across as a little melodramatic, but only in the descriptions at the beginning, not the actual plot--though the plot DOES look like a bit of wishful thinking :)

Keep up the good work,Lilith

Yay! Stand up for celebicy! Sweet story...I know exactly the feeling when somebody else takes your girl (only, I'm a girl, the case in point was the guy I had a crush on having a crush on my twin sister...yeah). But anyway, great story, and I hope you work on your others soon!