Dark Rose, I didnt understand this poem... Yet I felt it had quite a Japanese style in terms of the images used, particularly in the second half. I like your way of mixing image with frangmented thought and very short lines with long ones but it left me confused... But then maybe it was supposed to...?

i really like the beginning of this; the description was lovely. the second bit of the poem was good, too, but in a different way. i think the switch in person was unnecessary, and let it down a bit - sorry. if i were you, i'd put these up as two seperate poems.