It was great! I liked how you put Ravyl into a more appealing light, so to speak. I actually kinda feel bad for the guy.

Okay, is it Ikei or Ikea? The spelling changes throughout the chapter. A few gramatical and spelling errors, but I'm not one to talk. Good though!

How do you pronounce Alaer's name? I think I got Ravyl's down, but I have no clue about his. It's good so far though.

I think the story is so awesome! It sucks that I'm the first review you've gotten, I'll tell some of my friends about this story. It's really good. Keep writing! :)