|Reviews for October|
| Victim of the Wraith 1/1/06 . chapter 1
Okay...I like how the every line wa short. It causes the poem to move quickly which is the mood that you were going for.
One thing I would recommend as a constructive criticism (don't worry nothing bad. I'm nice) is in the beginning you said "October/October rain" what I would suggest you do for these lines is use use October as the title and then just begin the next line as rain so that it would read "October by Dessert Roses" and then begin with the word "Rain." Just something creative that you can try. Because the repetition of the word October kind of destracted me at the beginning. If you want more clarification please IM me or e-mail me.
But other than that, nice poem, beautifully thought out. And don't let anyone tell you that you watch too much CSI because CSI is the route of all inspiration, be it tragic or romantic. Keep up the good work.