FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Luthiena o Lorien 2006-01-02 ch 1,  | abuse"How I long for summer sunWhere the flowers will bloom again"I think that you should delete the "the" before "flowers" "Our nemesis hearts committed treason"Awesome line. "He passes the worn out soul in needHe steps on broken hearts in need of mending"You repeated the word "need", so maybe change the second one to: "He steps on broken hearts in want for mending" "Please hold me on last time"I am pretty sure you meant "on" to be "one" "The wind signs and turns away"The wind signs? Or do you mean "sighs"? I love the agony in here. Wonderful! Title Suggestions: Hm, perhaps... 1.) Hollow Heart 2.) Empty 3.) One, Two, Three, Four |
| Neteri Bennu 2005-12-31 ch 1, | abuseWow that was good! um... personaly i think that the title should be called... Back and forth. Ps: i can tell that you worked ** that! |