FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| classic violet 2006-02-11 ch 1,  | abuseAmaziny & oh so beautiful! |
| simpleplan13 2006-02-03 ch 1, | abuseawesome format... love that last line and the jumble of words thing.. great job |
| mezzie 2006-01-22 ch 1, | abuseum i know i basically said this already at some point but ! god you're good. amazing and your poetry is making excellent soul food... mezzie |
| backseats on thursdays 2006-01-19 ch 1, | abuseImagination automatically took me to a quiet, laid-back café setting... dim, sensual lights and the seen unfolding from the view of a booth from the back or the building. Amazing work. |
| re x invented 2006-01-13 ch 1, | abusei'm sure you don't need another review.. you've got so many, and well deserved. but when i read something i like i have to say something. i really enjoy your work. you keep writing, i'll keep reading.. |
| account not in use 2006-01-10 ch 1, | abusei love the second stanza, it's so...a jumble of things i love. |
| Pink Sparrow 2006-01-08 ch 1, | abusewow, this is a little confusing but so powerful. I like the style. Nice work. |
| The Fourth Fate 2006-01-07 ch 1, | abuseWow. Great job. It appeals to the senses. |
| beti213 2006-01-05 ch 1, | abusewow. ok. piece by piece."the rhythm of their voices hum and mingle in the background" meaning you're not speaking, but their is this blurring going on outside of you as well-blurring of people."I force my vision to blur and the sensation on my fingertips/to speed up. ajumbleofwords" I love the first words... wanting an escape and forcing your body to comply. also, to shove the last words together is that difficult trick of making a poem truly 'show' what you mean through the words themselves. you pull it off. bravo!"the sugarcube-lights and the many lost&found whores,/ b o y, on the tip of your tongue" sugarcube-lights is an amazing image-I have a picture of those brightly colored frosty lights that are thought of as so trendy, but this portrayal is mocking of them-accusing them of falsity? and the phrase "lost&found whores" has both a condemnation and a kind of empathy in it. I like how you stretch out boy... like someone would say it. I wouldn't think of those words being on the tip of someone's tongue, and also, be careful with the cliche."I can taste the burn like vomit; iloveyou" this is my favorite line BY FAR. regret and lack of control... something that is supposed to be wonderful tastes like vomit, is tinged with disgust. amazing. this piece is a confession, I think, but not mainly of love... the feelings that surround it and are defining it, instead. great piece. write on! |
| Ren Sorayume 2006-01-03 ch 1, | abusedefinitely different to other love poems, i like that |
| a lonely september 2006-01-03 ch 1, | abuse'b o y, on the tip of your tongue, i can taste the burn like/vomit;' beautiful. |
| Aquafied 2006-01-03 ch 1, | abusewell done, well done.one more bulemic life tangled with mingled bodies. we can never bore of such beauty, said the town as they burned their bride. |
| White Tea and Ginger 2006-01-03 ch 1, | abuseThe last stanza is particularly well written. I love this line; 'the sugarcube-lights and the many lost&found whores'. Awesome imagery. Keep writing. You're really talented. |
| AllyCred 2006-01-03 ch 1, | abusei like it, very different. lots of love~AC~ |
| poetic abortion 2006-01-03 ch 1, | abusethis is lovely. quite. ~* noelle |