FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Wingless Cherub 2006-01-09 ch 1,  | abuseFirst off, "Just a bad metaphor that fades to grey" is my favorite line. I found this poem by going through someone's Favorite Authors list, and your poem caught my eye for it's title. Secondly, nice title. This seems so raw, yet vague simultaneously, which makes it all the more powerful (at least for me). Very true, this does start to take the form of a sonnet. I almost expect it to keep going, but then to add onto it after the initial flow might ruin it (or does that make sense to only me?). I don't have anything to critisize about it, unfortunately (unfortunate because I live and breathe off criticism). Nicely done, it flowed so well right through to the end. |
| OUR NOLE 2006-01-04 ch 1, anon. | abuseThis one made me cry. It actually did. You know as well as anyone else that it doesn't take much, but hey. Feel accomplished anyway.Beautiful. |
| in theory 2006-01-04 ch 1, | abuseI love how you put "Eyes" on a line to itself, it's almost creepy. Strange. |
| Jezsh 2006-01-04 ch 1, | abusegorgeous, I love that it surprised me, going much deeper than expected. The lines and tempo are smooth and deep and ponderous, and the imagery is gorgeous. |
| lady-in-the-mirror 2006-01-03 ch 1, | abuseTHE BEST POEM EVER!a) It rhymesb) Its deepc) The language is BEAUTIFULd) ITS WRITTEN BY YOU |
| Benjamin Kyle Lawe 2006-01-03 ch 1, | abuseI really liked this. I can't make up my mind about the least/most business (I think you're trying to choose one?) I wouldn't know which to choose either. I like the "just a bad metaphor that fades to grey", I think I know how you feel. And I think I may be in love with the line, "The roses fall, and, bruised, breathe of passion" - Benjamin Kyle Lawe |