Just out of curiosity is the setting of the story in Britain? I was wondering because one of the kidnappers says "boyos."

I like this story. The writing is very detailed and vivid.

Not quite as powerful as your other story, but really, that's just my personal preference. While there are again some technical details - dialogue between characters shouldn't share a paragraph, etc., etc. - the story itself is still solid. Impressive. I liked the fact you didn't know exactly who got shot at first. A nice bit of dramatic flair.