|Reviews for Almost January Lightning|
| simpleplan13 2/4/06 . chapter 1
| Aslan Israel 1/10/06 . chapter 1
Wow. So simple and descriptive. I love how you wrote this. Great use of verbs.
| With Rhyme and Reason 1/4/06 . chapter 1
Very lovely language. You start most of your lines with verbs of movement! I don't know if it was on purpose, but I think it really works. Actually, if you were to rewrite this, it's be cool if you started EVERY line with a verb of motion. The title of this poem is also very good.
"Hit hard like the hurricane / Slid soft like the sand." Nice lines, there.
Your rhyme scheme is good, but you should work on your meter. Seriously, this poem could be fantastic.