FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Anya Tempest 2006-01-05 ch 1,   | I was really very impressed by this (And believe me, on the essay section, most of the stuff does far from impress me.)The whole tone of the piece was very tense and realistic. The only thing I think could be improved is here: "But she MUST finish the bag. Too late." Personally, I would have put the capitals in itallics instead, simply because I think it looks more professional. I also think that you don't really reach a climax with the words "too late". I'm not sure what you could to make it mire climactic, but I think that an extra edge would make your piece even better that it already is. On the whole, a job well done. |
| GLP 2006-01-05 ch 1, | well this is familiar...what would ms ferrar say? lol. do you know you spelt spelling wrong? ironic, non? iz x |