   Written 2006-10-22 . chapter 1nice work. the piece really just. . . works. the words have a nice ring to them! |
 FunkyFlower18 2006-08-20 . chapter 1really good. i liked the rhyming and some of the lines are very easy to relate to. loved the last 4. can i quote you on those? 'words ring out, these games get old, just as, words get cold.' keep writing :)
~mez~ |
 Smoky Bear 2006-04-18 . chapter 1cool concept. the confined surge of angst is effective and there is no word wastage. its very relateable, especially the last line. good poem. :D |
 Lovetress 2006-03-25 . chapter 1I liked the short, concise lines, but I felt the ending could've been stronger. I can definitely relate though. |
 Farran 2006-03-25 . chapter 1Beautiful such wonderful imidery such incredibly pure feelings, those which make poetry art. |
 Out-Of-Reality 2006-02-06 . chapter 1Very short but says more then a lot of poems do. It flows perfectly and makes a lot of sense. I could read the last 7 lines over and over again and it would never get old! |
 classic violet 2006-02-06 . chapter 1Love this. Great poem! |
 simpleplan13 2006-02-04 . chapter 1I like this a lot... i can relate.. i really like the first four lines... nicely done |
 Helpless-Dreamer01 2006-01-19 . chapter 1Breathing and suffocating at the same time. Interesting, been there and done that. I know how it all feels, maybe not in such bluntness but... I LOVED IT!
All the best for your future writing, Dani |
 Moon-Chaser 2006-01-10 . chapter 1Beautiful, I love the way that you write, you make it easy for people to know what is going on. Wonderful ending I really liked it.
Keep it up. |
 mark f. newvillage 2006-01-07 . chapter 1 simple. beautiful. well refined work. |
 Candyluv18 2006-01-06 . chapter 1gosh your poems want to make me cry or hug you or both. You've developed amazing writing skills. I love all the emotion you put into your work and how you bring real life into it :) |
 The Random Witness 2006-01-06 . chapter 1The way you drop half a sentence to a new one gives a nice effect to the overall feel of the poem. A jaring rhythm but repetative, much like the old games. Your last three words seem to sum up the poem now that I think more, for all the words in the poem seem heartfelt but cold too;some what Sad. Welldone in portraying that emotion.~TRW |
 thursdays and rain 2006-01-06 . chapter 1short but it does the job. people/we tend to play pretend one way or the other. i guess it's a natural defense mechanism. love the last line.
btw, thanks for the review c: |
 RedXfire 2006-01-05 . chapter 1wow the start got me right off now imagry very well written |
FictionPress.com - let the words flow