This is lovely! Great idea with the stars and warriors and all.

I liked it. Can't really say I think I'll become a star when I die, or when anyone dies really. My thoughts are more along the lines of when you're dead you're dead. No afterlife, no passing go and collecting two-hundred dollars, no heaven, no hell, no being born again-you're just dead and in a damn box in the cold ground six feet under. Emm, sorry, this is a touchy subject for me for reasons that I'm not even considering going into, and I usually end up going into a snappy, angry rant... Anyways, I liked the wording and the visuals I received while reading it. Great job on it...

CynicalValentine98

Wow... that was really good. It did carry the thought of death, but it was subtle and not just straight-out suicidal sounding. I liked it a lot...

Wow! This poem is really beautiful. Lots of pretty mental pictures :) This is very moving and strangely comforting...and I love it :) Great job, I look forward to reading some of your other pieces.

Kitty

Becomings a star would be a scary thing, for me.

this is beautiful. i love the refernces to warriors and honor in it. it's hard to be honorable and good sometimes. i love this really. good stuff.

Beautiful poem.

This chillingly reminded me of Achilles's difficult choice in Homer's "Iliad." He must choose between living a long life with no glory or having glory and dying young. He chooses to die young. In a way, he becomes a "star"-that is, he has eternal fame.

Your language is lovely in this poem. One of my complaints involves this line: "For how stand I?" While it's a very poetic line, doubtlessly, it's a bit out of place. Up to this point in the piece, you're quite colloquial-you're casual, even. Then you start switching around words for no particular reason. I'd be able to understand if it rhymed or something, but it doesn't. I'd recommend being consistent.

I still stand by what I said before, though: GREAT idea. And it made me think of Achilles, Homer, and human glory: worthy topics, any time.