I love this style. I also love the way you create your sentence structure. "All for daisy petalsAnd untouched cake" is by far my favorite line.

Elenive

it feels like you're talking to a sea spirit or something

almost more like fantasy

(it was for my shrink. ha ha. and then she never read it. oh well.)

The third stanza is my favorite. It is so interesting and different. Keep it up!

um...i like it. and the line "rhythmic lies." i could relate to it, and that's always a good thing. keep on going!

nicey. If only I had the attention span to write full fledged poems like these, mine are but little limericks (if you find them funny?). I really really like the ending. The little stanza before the last one reminded me of a day we were swimming and it was really cloudy/darkish, so I couldn't tell the sky from the water.

the first stanza is what caught me. especially the first five lines. odd.

This is really deep and thoughtful...creative, yet simple. Really descriptive, you speak to your audience well.

love it. love it. love it.

* noelle

All of this is like drinking in air by the sea. Lovely. It reminds me of being lonely, but beautifully so. I love it.

And months in between poems may be fearsome for you, but wonderful for me! Please, keep it up!

Depthy.

Your version of the safety of shores is alien to me, I think I may have acute hydrophobia or some other term for fear of water. I associate shores with relief, it feels like they tempt you. "Caught in crossfires" reminds me strongly of your previous review. I can instantly associate with you on that, I know how it is to not really be sure of where your feet are standing. Or how much you care where they are anyway.

The author's note discombobulated me. It was like you were peering into yourself, and you saw not what you expected. Surreality. (is that a word..?It deserves to be.) The imagery is fabulous, as is the form, but you know that probably.

Intricate title, with some strange and endlessly open ended implication for wandering off. I tend to do that without prompting or assistance, but this definitely eased it.

And that first stanza having a separation from the rest, that's very effective. Slap me if I sound like a retired English professor, but it secludes it totally.

You really should post more regularly, or at least ghost yourself with another pen name and demonstrate your gorgeously gritty voice to the rest of this site even if you don't think they deserve a place on your main account.

Shalom.

There are so many marvelous descriptions in here. It really snakes in and out of abstact feelings and concrete images, and to raw emotion. Very well done.