Ooh, lovely. I've written an essay on "Colours" as well, but it's sci-fic. I didn't know it's one of the topics for the Commonwealth Essay Competition...

Ooh, what fun - was this for the Commonwealth story competition? This year's or last year's? - my mother judged in last year's competition and it was such fun reading everyone's stories... although I think in general they'd been a bit shorter - there was a word limit of 800 words or something.

Anyway, I like your story - it's got a very quiet sense of movement. I agree with the reviewer earlier who said tying in the Charlie Chaplin would have been nice - perhaps in the intro, it would have been good, or when Sara talks about black and white movies. And also, I'm not sure you had to explain what colour blind was to Sara... it was a little basic and restated what the reader already knew. I liked your description on voices - the whole beginning is quite strong, with her thoughts. It lagged a little in the middle, between her following Sara, and checking emails and praying... I think maybe you could trim that a bit. I like their exchange at the end - although perhaps state why she asks Sara about colours? Doesn't have to be anything too much in detail...

All in all, a very touching piece. If you've written it for this year, good luck! :)

Wow- Very nice! I like the comparison you made in the beginning to Charlie Chaplin- alas, if was also almost too much of an anticlimax... Charlie is the man.