Interesting story... the dialouge seems a little repititive to me though. Hm, good luck with the rest of your stories. This one sadly does not catch my eye currently. I am in the mood for a werewolf story. Don't stop writing though!
-Smiling Star

i love it!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO A SEQUEL! It would be nice to know if Mr. Brian ever found Eve, and what he did.

Aww...so sweet...loved it

I really liked the beginning of the story =) however, I felt it a little bit rushed afterwards, and especially in the ending. I honestly thought she'd try to pursuit a relationship with the teacher instead of with Lee... but whatever ^ ^ I guess this is how it'd have to turn out.

I'm anonymous btw. I know the story means a lot to you so please don't take my review badly. If you don't like it, ignore it. I am sorry though if I offended you.

The story is good but if you look over it, it could be so much better.

No offence or anything, but your story is leaning towards the unrealistic side.

There were lots of times it seemed like Mr. Brian was hitting on her when it ended up he wasnt.

There was the mentioning of the 'home' life which wasn't terribly significant to the story.

'Don't keep your hopes up, please' isnt exactly what a teacher would say to a student.

'Focus on me' part? That was definitely hitting on her. "Look in my eyes', 'No Eve, please try', and all those apologies? They seem hopelessly in love in that chapter.

Have you ever broken your wrist? The pain isn't all too blinding nor critical enough to have everyone 'clear out!'

Have you ever had a cast on? It doesn't exactly last as short as two weeks...

Plus having a 'broken wrist' twisted in a dance...I'm sorry, but I fail to see how that would result to someone toppling over.

Please take this in a constructive manner. You'd be fantastic in writing mysteries since you put your readers in an "I thought it was going to be him" mindset when it's the other way around.

(I actually thought Brian liked her and wanted to keep Lee away.)

Fantasy and Mystery. You'd excel highly and undoubtedly in that.

It's your first story so don't stress over it too much. Just remember to be more realistic (if it's realistic fiction) in the future. It would attract A LOT more readers (especially critical and hard to please ones *like me*) into appreciating your work.

This story has potential. Look it over if you want.

omgosh... i think she should have stayed w/ the teacher.. well, mayb not. the whole "cuz ur my student" thing would have made me really mad.. or is it just me? ur stories r so kawaii... ;] keep on riting!

-YuLian

I like this so far... I promise to try and read this all the way through, but I can't right now :(

I love your style!

i cant believe you have fantasies with HIM. i'm just lucky this is just a story. 'coz if this happens, especially the thing in chapter 5 where he...does that, i'll be puking until my stomach's empty. hahaha. sorry for being frank.

ok...FUCK OFF?!k...fine...be that way..!!

This is relatively well-written, but in something like this:

“Someone hooked up with someone else probably.” Kelly exclaimed and Eve laughed.

Replace the period within the quotation marks with a comma. Also, try to vary your sentence structures.