FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Reborn As I 2006-11-01 ch 1,  | abusenot bad. you should probably cut this up into verses and ** if you want it to make readers feel like they're reading song lyrics. also, it'll make the repetiveness more... tolerable. |
| Manny Terwilliger 2006-01-13 ch 1, | abuseProbably not my favorite of your poems. It's somewhat overly repetitive, and, while that does manage to get your point across, it's not as well-written as your others. |