Fascinating, morbid piece. I like how the body is taken down layer by layer through the poem until there are only bleached bones and emptiness left. Unusual powerful imagery, nice work.

fantastic imagery. disgusting and yet somehow beautiful.

Your poem sounds so much like a nightmare, live and playing 'fore the audience's eyes, with the parenthesis and breaks and descriptions. Horrific and all 'round nice (the writing style, not the visuals - that's just morbidly fascinating).

- Chace

those are some visually hard, slightly horrific, very anatomically specific descriptions... i would not want this for a dream e

mezzie

The action, flow of this is remarkable. So many scatterred images and thoughts. A combination of dream-like haze and amazing sensativity to all sensations. Wonderfully written.

wow! amazing imagery. very graphic descriptions - love it!