nice story! its seems a bit rushed and fast paced... but its still interesting!

keep writing!

Plz review back :)

- Dreamforever101

I like your story, it's really creative and interesting. There are, however, a few suggestions or comments that I would like to make. The first being in the beginning, Ral seems too accepting of the fact that she is suddenly in a different time period. It seems like she should perhaps freak out a little. It's not everyday that you wake up not in the same place you went to bed.

I also would like to say that I agree with the reviewer before myself, don't end the story there! There is so much more you can do with it, and many loose ends that realistically need to be tied.

I would also suggest that you use more descriptions in this story. I realize this is something much more easily said than done, it's something I struggle with sometimes. It's just sometimes becomes difficult to follow the story when it is lead entirly by dialouge. I would suggest using little things to break it up. People don't just stand around talking all of the time. Describe what they are doing, or the setting.

Overall though I really enjoyed a lot. Keep working on it, it really has a lot of potential! Sorry I wrote you what seems to be a novel in itself, I hope that this was helpful to you. cady

don't end it there! She's a girl from Earth, still with not much courtly manners... AND she doesn't know how to rule! AND she just overthrew a queen... there won't be complete compliance, even with the Queen's treason.

I gotta see how this plays out! Won't SOMEONE from Earth be suspicious at all about the way her loose ends in the future were tied?

:) CD

Hey...that was a really good story. And about your descriptions, you need to describe the people, not just wat they wear, trust me i know, I am a professional of love

Well I have to agree with you, backwards names are cool... and I thought it was cool that she told a complete truth when answering the Queen-"I have never before been to your beautiful court and my only brother was murdered while in our home court." Absolutely, utterly true. heehee...

this IS interesting, however, start getting to the action!

:) CD

interesting... the names are slightly odd, though. Some are other names backwards, or the king's name is Tacobell backwards... that kinda thing will be noticed.

otherwise interesting.

is there ans significance to the fact that Rawlet is ALMOST Talwar backwards?

:) CD

This looks to be quite the trip! What does Raleana (great name btw) look like? More descriptions! Yey, anywho can't wait to see more of this.