This story had great potential, unfortunately I felt that Kaitlyn was an unbearable Mary-Sue. You might want to work on giving her character more depth and dimension instead of using the typical family problems and unseen character struggles and nobody-understands-me devices.

i dont think ash deserved to end up with didnt just give her up. he betrayed her trust and secrets. and after her lil speech about not taking him back, she end up giving in to him.

forgiving him was understandable, but to forget and take him back in just a short time after all that happened? it's frustrating reading how the story ended.

just saying sorry and showing slight remorse cant undo what he didnt deserve a second chance with her. well,it's not actually the second chance,is it?

ugh, i like the story but the ending was frustrating!

I love Kaitlyn, I do, but I feel like her character stayed flat. I don't know how to explain it coz I'm not good at this but the story just pulled me to react so let me try, okay?

I like that she doesn't go into unnecessary arguments and just indifferent, I like that she isn't coy but straight forward, I like that she is honest and direct, but it seems that she doesn't feel much, I mean she does have emotions but it's not deep enough. She underwent a lot of emotional stress but she barely breaks down and when she does, she recovers quite easily. I understand that she has a wall built around herself that made her strong like that so she can protect herself from her aunt and uncle and from all the toxic people around her but I find it hard to digest that her feelings could be so easily eased.

But the thing is, let me repeat, I like her, she is so forgiving but it makes her so perfect that I can't fully empathize with her.

But what really bugs me is not her but Ash. I've read a lot of character like him and one can't really help but like him but this time I simply don't think that he deserves Kaitlyn. Not even one bit. I hate the fact that she trusted him with all her secrets and just because a certain Karen told him some things that made him insecure, he went and did things so hurtful. It was established that he was the one person that Kaitlyn confided to with her issues that no one else knows, that meant, Kaitlyn trusted him, FULLY, but why can't he trust her in return? Why was he so easily brainwashed? Not to mention that he is so judgmental of Kaitlyn's actions without even knowing the full truth. I feel like he did not suffer enough before Kaitlyn accepted him again. It seems everything was so easy for him, I just don't think it's fair for Kaitlyn. I don't know. That's just how I feel. I would have rather that they didn't end up together actually.

But still, the story got to me. I think I absorbed all the anger that Kaitlyn should have felt towards Ash. eheh. That just shows that I was greatly affected by your writing. I respect your plot and everything in it. As a reader, I felt it is my duty to react. I'm not being critical, that was simply just my reaction.

Thanks for sharing the story.

You have a good idea but I think you need to work on showing the progression of time and developing your characters.

The interaction between Ash and Kaitlyn seems random.

Kaitlyn does not have understandable reactions, if she reacts at all.

AMAZING STORY!

Complex characters & drama! Love

Haha that was the fastest setup I've ever seen. I just finished reading, I originally started reading Surviving Obsidian Empire and was confused at the end of the first chapter. It will probably make more sense now though.

Anyway I loved how Kaitlyn finally stood up to Aunt Patty and kicked them out. That lady was so evil, sheesh she definitely reminds me of Karen.

I wanted Kaitlyn to end up with Hayden for some reason, Ash was too eh. Sleeping with Karen and being such an arse to get revenge.

I've got to finish reading surviving at some point so I can get caught up but right now I need sleep.

So, I just finished reading this story in one sitting. :D

I really liked Kaitlyn's character. She was strong, but had her weak points and didn't turn into a blubbering heroine with no backbone.

I also really liked how you didn't go into detail when it wasn't necessary to the plot, like giving the play-by-play of the musical.

What I found disappointing (personally) was Ash's character. I really didn't like him. Lol. It really irked me when he told Jason, Kaitlyn's secrets when she specifically told him not to tell anyone. In addition to him sleeping with other people to get back at her. I think Kaitlyn deserved better (Linc.. -fangirlscream-)

Overall, I definitely enjoyed reading your story! And now I'm off to read the companion piece, Surviving Obsidian Empire. -subscribes- :P

wow! her aunt, uncle and cousin are HORRIBLE! esp her her aunt.. what is her problem? :/

but this is such a good story so far! i can't wait to read the rest of it :)

Loved it! Really great story

Absolutely amazing story!

For the first few chapters, I got a sense of... frustration?

As if I was feeling what Kaitlyn was feeling.

Goes to show how well you write! :)

But yes, I have to agree with the other readers that Ash didn't do nearly as much as he should have to win back Kaitlyn.

Hey there! I finally found your brilliant story! Heard it was palgiarised *rollseyes* Idiot! Anyway, congrats that it won an award and well hope you write some more stories!

Great story!

I was wondering though...what is Cindy's family situation after Kaitlyn kicked them out? I mean, are they rich/poor/average? I'd like to picture them as dirt-poor and scrounging on the streets like the mangy morons they are, but...

And I remember coming across this story in the past, but I skipped over reading it because the title led me to believe it was a sci-fi/futuristic type of story. (i.e. "Obsidian Empire") I'm glad that I read it now though! (And I will obey the Golden Rule of 'never judge a book by its cover'...ahh!)

- Rebekah

hm... i was kinda hoping that she would end up with jason or hayden... but i like this ending too! :D loved the story! i hope you'll write more soon! ;D

this story was awesome! very well written.

Great story, keep up the good work.