wow, I like how you took those lyrics and made a whole new poem from them, I love the imagery,

I think you should try to write a story, I know for sure it would have great imagery

Religious undertones is not a bad thing...I like how you capitalize Treasure, Rumi capitalizes Friend when speaking about God, "Treasure" has a good and new feel to it - something of a pirate hunt, abstract, maps even need to be found (it's just heresay) that we know the treasure is out there somewhere, it's an adventure! puts a creative twist to what I've read in the past along these lines. nice word choice - the capitalization of the word speaks volumes...

ouch. what happened to you?

This is my favourite part of the poem:

'for but a glimpse of you/would be well worth all that it costs'

You captured beautiful imagery and emotions in those lines.

The message you give out in these lines, rings out loud and clear for all to hear and it's a lovely one. It's touching to think that people can come across a person like this in their lives.

EB

Very uplifting in a way. The sentiment throughout carries this along well in rhythm and flow. Lyrical-songlike feel makes this enjoyable.