 Maisha Mafuriko 2006-02-01 . chapter 1Just a tear drop...one after another..just one tear drop...then...another..into the glass of life...till one day the glass overflows as the tears pour forth. |
 In State of Agony 2006-01-18 . chapter 1just great...( when i read the final line i just, WOW!) "We used to laugh in champagne kisses" "Messages print into my mind" "I crush the notes then iron them smooth" lovely,and then, the final line...perfect just perfect...i really really like this peace, you are good, keep it writing... |
 white-chokolat 2006-01-17 . chapter 1poor thing...happened to me before...oh she was b-e-autiful but hey...you move on to find BETTER things |
 Eirien 2006-01-17 . chapter 1I really like this, especially the way the speaker's conflict of feelings towards that other person is expressed in the last two lines. |
 button-nose 2006-01-16 . chapter 1wow... i really enjoyed this... i loved : messages print into my mind...sepia tones negatives of glazed lips... i also loved chapagne kisses...
I thought your use of imagery was excellent. we all experience heartache and heartbreak, but this felt like it wasnt just your ordinary sad love story poem.. i really enjoyed it...great work!
Button Nose x x |
 setne 2006-01-16 . chapter 1Very nice. |
 dragonwarrior2017 2006-01-16 . chapter 1Hm...I don't really know what to say about this one. I like it and I don't. If that makes any kind of stupid sense. |
 chaos called creation 2006-01-15 . chapter 1You know that when you read the first line that this would be truly heartbreaking. This is very beautiful and I hope you feel better soon. 'plenty fish in the sea' |
 Moondog Dozier 2006-01-15 . chapter 1" I crush the notes then iron them smooth", that is extraordinary. The whole work, especially the voice presented were great, but that line was extraordinary. |
 WannaBeABarrelRacer 2006-01-15 . chapter 1wow. thats really good! i love it!, and again, thanks for the review! ttyl~Em |
 Morx 2006-01-15 . chapter 1I thought this was stunning - real palpable emotion and realism. (I can very much indentify with it right now). Anyway, just... lovely. |
 Galadh Niniel 2006-01-15 . chapter 1Powerful piece, I love it, such beautiful descriptions. I like the way you use the physical details to show indirectly how the two persons don't fit together any more. Especially the line "I crush the notes then iron them smooth" is wonderful, it shows how the speaker wants to forget and let go the other person yet still clings to them. Great poem. |
 Tikklz 2006-01-15 . chapter 1I really liked a lot of the imagery, and the hurt was very apparent. "sepia tone negatives of glazed bright lips" was my fav. line |
 bjw 2006-01-15 . chapter 1I thought it was very well done. The imagery..your metaphors are really original! The emotions they rouse...just beautiful. The reader can empathise very well. "I crush the notes then iron them smooth/You said you loved me." The ending is perfect..you can almost hear the narrator's voice break. Love it.:)
But I think in "sepia tone negatives of glazed bright lips", the "tone" would be better as "toned".
Lovely writing. One reason to perhaps..not feel so sorry for yourself.:) |