I definetley love the idea of this poem, but you seem to be held back with rhyming. I think this poem could really blossom without that barrier.

Also, you do a wonderful job with imagery. I could feel my head getting heavy, as if there was something weighing it down, making me tilt, and if I were to walk, I would spin in circles.

Rhyming poetry is kind of dull in my opinion. As I've said before, I've had crying fits, too...

wisdom in a momentof pure injusticeis said to hold lamentat the beat of the gistof life.

don't ask, just thought it up reading to your (tearful) words. I liked the poem, though.

I like the last one best. Even though it does not rhyme, it captures so many emotions at once. Wonderful. Keep it up!

The meter wasn't perfect in any of them, but there was a sweetness to their simplicity. I like it.

they're all simple, easy to understand, symbolic, and pretty in their own way. i liked it quite a bit.

.X.happy.X.