i can honestly say i've fallen in love with your words, everything perfectly described. you're amazing.

Crazy. Surreal and abstract. I love it.

And all I did was hold his hand.

The last line is...god.

I originally read this as something much darker - she's at a party, perhaps, gets drunk, is later raped by the boy she loves and cares about b/c of her intoxication and subsequent vulnerability.

I like the vagueness of the story. Suggestions: (1) the only part I did not understand was wiping the screen with peroxide; why would that distort the image? (2) Also, "consistantly freezing fingers" is clumsily phrased. Freezing is a gerund, and her fingers are not constantly in the process of being frozen, are they? Its just a little grammatical thing, really, but it should be "frozen fingers." Of course, then "consitently" sounds out of place. Hm. So you might change it to her "ever-frozen fingers".

Little things.

Kudos.

very pretty. i really liked the ending. keep it up_

is beauty.

so damn gorgeous. the way you use language itself is ridiculously amazing.

THe detail was astounding. I loved it, except for the yoda sentances ('Multicolored, it was.') Wonderful little piece of prose.

Your use of description astounds me. I always find myself enamored by your use of diction and detail. And imagery, always imagery. I'm enthralled by the entirety of this; I was going to pick something in particular, but I cannot.

i love how something so small is portrayed as so much here. wonderful.

Wow this is really cool. It's very vividly done. I like it. My only suggestion is that you write a summery, cuz I almost didn't read it. I'm glad I did, it's fantastic. I hope you're planning to continue this.