Reviews for We Pay - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: We Pay

seasick 2006-04-15 ch 1,	interesting change of perspectives and very true. You do not know the worth of water until the well is dry.
simpleplan13 2006-03-17 ch 1,	i liek this its a great story & i can realte.. I really love that last stanza about the two separate lives meeting & him smiling it ends it greatly & its so true about a lot of people in our lives.. well done
Moondog Dozier 2006-02-08 ch 1,	Very well shown. The theme comes across loudly because of your descriptions and the tone that adds so much to the work. Excellent use of the personal to describe an exterior theme. Great work.
cornered.sensations 2006-01-29 ch 1,	I love this, it was beautiful, the effect of the last line gave it the perfect touch. Great work!
Athena's girl 2006-01-22 ch 1,	Aw!! I love this, and totaly agree!! If more people were like this the world would be a rockin' place, ya? I like how you seperated the end sentence from the rest, it adds a punch to it.
acrobia 2006-01-22 ch 1,	I liked this piece because of the truthness it conveys - you protray here a very realistic situation, and one that can be seen in too many places. I also liked the character's desire to make the job easier for the shoveler, and the last line "and even though our/lives speak different languages,/he smiles" - I like the recognition that takes place here, and the image is just wonderful. The character is tender, and so is the style of this piece, it is really admirable. One slight thing that perhaps confused me, why is he ashamed? Is he ashamed of not being rich? of not being white? of not speaking english? although these traits make him different, I believe the character of the shoveler, specially in the last line, shows that he is not ashamed, but rather proves to have a strenth of its own, both by being able to shovel (which apparently the character that says the first line can't) and also by his dignity, his pureness. That however, was only my interpretation. Keep writing such amaizing pieces! I love the delicate and yet strong messages that you send across with them!xo - Acrobia
Gilee7 2006-01-21 ch 1,	-but the man paid so well / has red cheeks /and tired hands, and I find that my feet/- I think "has red cheeks" comes across kind of awkward following the second line like that. There's like no transition at all. -beneath the flush there is shame in his cheeks;/ he is not rich, not white-/ he doesn't speak english.- I love the image you paint of this man. I feel sorry for him. That third stanza is the pivotal part of this poem, and my favorite part of it, as well. Such a good message, and so true. Sadly so. Although most people don't feel ashamed, they don't even think about such a thing. And the ending is so sweet. It made me smile, as well. I really feel a strong disliking for the "She" in the poem, though. Although really she isn't just one person, but our entire society, since that's how nearly every person is. The rhythm wasn't as strong in this poem as in some of your others, but the imagery was. But the reason I love this poem so much, and probably the reason everybody will love it, is because of the excellent message it conveys. Very nice job on this.
lackluster 2006-01-19 ch 1,	i think this line is going to stay with me forever: "and even though our lives speak different languages, he smiles". admirable, how well you convey your message.
backseats on thursdays 2006-01-18 ch 1,	Amazing concept. You have such an interesting way of writing... it gives the perfect picture to what you're saying.
hoowdoideletethisaccount 2006-01-17 ch 1,	Oh, Beti, this is so beautiful. This resounds. How absolutely true! This is a little moment of human compassion and understanding; something shared not by words, but by believing that people should be treated like people, no matter where they come from or where they're going. I absolutely loved this. I'm off to work-- but I'll be back before too long, to review those other new pieces. ;) Awesome job with this poem. It really struck me. In fact, it's going on my favourites list. I love the message. Love it.

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