Heya, Outlaw-2 Extreme here,

I dropped by here after going through another author's favourites, and from how I see from the first few paragraphs before reading through properly, I find it... well, odd.

Somehow, the story is very much likable in some sense, considering that I do have some interest with spirits. Though, the only part that lacked was how Akako and Aki met. Yes, the rest of the chapter was very much interesting and catchy, but the part where Aki 'rescues' Akako could have been added. But hey, you govern the story, hence it's your decision.

Other than that, I enjoyed this prose. Heads up, you got yourself another reader. *Thumbs up*

O² Extreme, Beyond The Realms Of Death

Kay

Akako creeps me out seriously. But that's a good thing! Very good imagery...it was cool!


Hope to read more soon

N.Tori

Quite the interesting story you have here. Perhaps you'll even reveal what happened with Akako's past, why she's something of a monster, among other thigns, and why Aki could break her free. But those are only questions that I have at the moment, and hopefully, updates will reveal the answers

This story is really coming along, and keeps getting better. I would definately read more! Though I do advise more editing... Oh well, the story is still awesome.

Geh, what a cliffhanger, I can't wait to find out what happens. I actually didn't know that Suzuki would have ended up as the miko maiden, awesome stuff. The characters and the way they come together is so great, love the connections in plot and charachterization. (I'm sure you'd figured out by now I invest more interest in character development than plot, but a good plot is still valuable). Again, minor grammatical errors here and there, but the story is still really strong. Nothing less than captivating.

More interesting characters! And Aki's relationship to his parents his revealed! I think its important when creating characters to show their relationships to everyone around them, its good that you gave us insight into the family. Usually, it tells a ton more about the character than most people think. Now I can understand why he didn't want Akako around at first, if his parents were never there for him, why should he care if Akako was hanging around. The story is superb, I really hope all those other characters are explained too.

Oh, that's great stuff. Nothing spices up a story like new characters who appear nice and friendly but turn out to be evil! Or good if you think Akako is the evil one. I can't wait to see what else happens.

Aside from the few grammatical errors here and there, the story is great. I didn't find anything wrong with the structure, plot, or style of the story. And the plot, oh the plot, I really like this story. It's like watching anime in my head!

Aki really does remind me of Watanuki from xholic, that's awesome! Interesting plot still, I really do like the story. I can't wait to see what Akako's background is like.

i've forgotten the feeling of being engrossed completely in a Fiction Press-published work. i guess i need to thank you for that, and i think i need to include you in my small list of Favorite Authors list. it's rare that i really dig a story this much, but when i do, i definitely give it the praise that it deserves.

this is one of the best stories in FP i've read so far--cast is delightable and very, very developed, the pacing of your story is excellent, and your style of writing is evidently contemporary but beautiful, in its own sense. i love the way how a relationship between a human and a nearly nine millennia-old spirit progresses in this story, and Akako is simply cute with her failure to call Aki with his real name. the modern Tokyo setting is, while not very elaborated on geography, is nicely thought-of and lends the anime feel to your story (which i really love, by God).

it was difficult (really) to find faults on this story since i was so immersed in it, and i tend to overlook a lot of them when i really like the story. however i saw that you had a lot of word errors (using a word erroneously, or inappropriately, for the situation), as well as some minor grammatical errors that look to be more typos than anything else. though, like a fellow reviewer said, it would be nothing that a second reading or proofreading, plus a little more work at the editing table, wouldn't fix--after all, you came this far and enticed me to ask for more. it would be well within your power i believe to perfect the piece and update.

you have a lot of things in here giving you plus points in my book, and very little in the way of the negatives. for one, you can piece together your thoughts well indeed and can write them in a narrative voice that's both comical and serious--i don't know if you notice this, but i do, that your mood shifts in a subtle manner. at one point i'd empathize with the character, at another i'd laugh, and at another i'd grab the mouse and cheer for him. this is a great talent that not all writers possess, which is the ability to make their readers feel for the characters in the story. thought not really the pinnacle of character development and character-oriented storytelling (which this is), it's nearly one, and i applaud you for that. this is one trait that i feel i don't possess, and it's both good and enviable that one such writer has that characteristic at her disposal.

though Akako is the main character the focus is a balance between her and Aki, which was executed perfectly (as far as this story has gone). also, Akako has this really great sense of dichotomy--one being a cute, lovable spirit attendant, and at the polar extreme, a ravenous beast that literally devours her enemies--and enjoys it. this is one of the crowning jewels of this story, which i hope from the bottom of my heart that you will update, and soon. and besides, in my mind's eye she looks just like Enma Ai (of Jigoku Shoujo, same hair and same eyes), or even Ichihara Yuuko of Xholic.

the overall "feel" of the story is very much into Japanese tradition that i wouldn't be surprised if you've researched a lot of them, and God knows, that would be the storytelling fad these days. it's not exactly a bad thing, as long as you can give us new perspective, insight, or information on this particularly interesting field of ethnic culture. you also give out a fair amount of realism into the story; a lot of anime-inspired stories go overboard, but this strikes a very fine measure between the anime and the conventional storytelling styles. character reactions are normal and "real"; the pacing is as true to life as it gets when you have a cute but scary ghost stalking you every minute of every dang day.

you have such a brilliant story here, Akahime-san, and i would very much love to have this updated as soon as possible; you'd do me and your readers a great favor. do *NOT* i beg of you drop this or it will really break my heart; i like Akako already.

PS. as a side note "akahime" means "red princess", right? "benihime" is deeper in meaning (crimson princess) but of course, it's a zanpakutou in Bleach--Urahara's. XD

PPS. also, if you don't mind and get to writing once again, i'd like you to review me as well, and to read your reaction on this review (email or on your profile page is okay). ja ne~!

Hey I just read ur fifth chap. For some reason they didn't let me review it cuz they said i read it already. (lol). Anyways, good job, you're developing ur writing style and making the story better, and that's really good. By the way, i posted my fourth chapter of Crystal Crisis. So read it when you can! Keep up the good work. Looking forward to ur next chapter.

Good chapter. Your getting better and developing your writing, and that's really good. Keep it up!

~Keirya

Wow, that is good stuff. You really go deeper into Sato Aki's character.

I love this story! And I fully intend to stalk you until you update.

AH! You must write the next chapter soon. Cliff hangers are so cruel! This chapter was written with exquisite skill though!

This chapter was short but interesting. I wanna see who the mysterious male is so write again soon. Keep working carefully like this and more peple will keep comign to read it. This plot is so unique, and that's what should attract them.