wow, after reading your later fic, I've realised that this one has a totally different tone. I think the reason the other worked so well for me was because it was so real. It was reality. On the other hand, this fic is just plain entertaining.
Not in a bad way. The two are just different in comparison.
Have you thought of editing your previous fic, by any chance? Your writing style has really evolved and improved over the, what, 3 years?
I really like your tone in this one though. Well done!

Okay dokes~

I must say this is very interesting but one thing is getting on my nerves: "Yin"

Why, you might ask... because it's my name...O.o although I know it's in different chinese characters it still feels weird... no offense.

Exceptional quality for a Fiction Press work!
I'm glad that this si the first in a series, and will start reading the next one tommorrow. Although...sorry if you ahve responded to this dozens of times, but I would Necte's age up a year ir two to fit in with the classes, I mean it's well and evil that they learn combat with live weapons, I just can't imagine a 13 year old girl physically capable of lifting a 6-foot Halberd.
Great Work.

This story is AWESOME. As soon as nominating starts for La Campanella awards, I'm nominating this for best series and best universe. IT'S SO AWESOME. I love all the characters too, and I like Nocte, and how she's a little bit evil and a little bit good (hero, I guess?). I love her answer to what she learned in school.
But, also, I think you should get a beta reader-- for example, you wrote amplitude test instead of aptitude test, and subconscious instead of self-conscious once... I mean, it was all still awesome, the writing and the characters and the plot, but... that was a little bit distracting.
Anyway, I'm off to read the next in the series, because I am in love, love, LOVE with this.

Oh wow I love this so much! Haha poor Nocte...

I have no idea what happened with my previous review, it some how got jumbled, ironic, given my complaints about your story.
Anyway, what you have so far is solid. The constant references to evil behaviors and tropes are usually funny, the juxtaposition between the one good character and the evil characters is mostly well done, although sometimes it seems to exadurated, or not viseral enough, (but I'm only on chapter I,) and I'm interested to see what the evil Academy is like.)
The best part about your story, in my opinion, is the narator, who is in the first person. I love the little asides to the reader, (she wawsn't hot,) ECT, and its the most charming aspect of the story, and makes me think of nineteenth century fiction.
This is where the flaws really detract, however. The most agregious of these is your constant switching from passed to present tense so fast and so dizzyingly that I have no idea what's going on sometimes. The changes don't seem to be purposeful, sometimes a bit of diolauge will be in present tense, and sometimes in the passed tense. This is equaly true with the normal naration and the first person asides. A constant tense, or at least a clearly demarkated tense is asencial for a novel to be cohesive, and your writing is good enough that the flaw in your tense is obvious.
There are also gramatical mistakes, which further detract from the flow of your writing.
If these two things were fixed your story would probably be in the top ten percent offictionpress stories.
I don't mean to come off as overly persnickity by pointing out these mistakes, (god knows my stories suffer from different flaws of the same strain,) its just something I noticed while reading.

Jevn

The evil aspects of the tely amusing. The contrast between the main charactestory r, who wants to be good, and the rest of the evil always come ell. The best is done wcterscharaoff as moderafeature of the story is that there's a narator, offering little, alwayfirst person throughout the story.
However, two issues of grammar chronicly affect s funny asides in the work. First, you switch from passed tense to present tense, consta people "say," and sometimes people "said," which is also very distracting. Your spelling is fine, but sometimes you'll use a wrong word, difficult instead of difficulty, aacting.
If yous also really dhrough and did an edit for grammar, but especially tense, went tistrnd this i

Great story so far. But chapter 11 has gone missing.. Nothing but a blank screen.

Can you re-upload it soon?

Yeah I know stupid name but overlook it,

First, I wanted to ask you in what format would you like us readers to point out grammar errors?

Second, I just wanted to point out that Farhat means happiness, delight and birth.

Third, Aman is a boys name, the female is Amana: faith, protection, etc.

Rai

Amazing Story! This is the first story I have read on FictionPress and I could not have asked for anything better! I would write a longer review, but the next book in the series is calling to me and I must read on!

I love the concept of tis story. Sort of scary that I feel like Nocte sometimes.

I am so horribly in love with her family like you would not believe! Purely gripping story!

Sorry I don't have much else to say :/ *too tired at the moment*

Just know this story is most precious!

:O

I am going to sound horrendously fangirly, but please bear with me. This story is simply marvelous! I am totally serious! Like... Like the Adams family but way more hardcore!

I am adoring it already! No grammar flaws, nor spelling... I am dead tired yet your story makes me pay attention. THAT is a sign of being a true writer! ^^

Can't wait to see how this evolves!

I loved this story. You're so imaginative, your plot and story lines are awesome. I can't wait to read the sequel.
-Seraphic Deviltry

this chapter is my favourite out of this story. must be becuase of the victory during the dancing scene. all though, the pairing up with darkhour took me by suprise, i loved every minute of it. im so excited for the sequel. as a matter of fact, ill start reading it right now! please update soon with the third installment of Nocte Yin! bye!

-Michelle