This was very, very good. I liked the rhythm and how the meaning is totally changed with the parantheses. Good.

Hi, this is pink dandy lion again on my other account :) I think the middle would be better as

'i think it would be better if

(you and)

me go away.'

It seems to flow better that way.

Keep in mind that this is only a suggestion and if you like it that way then...just ignore this crazy writer :)

s2 chaos

The ending could be stronger, but I really liked how you started it off. Keep writing