lovely. i want to hear the screeches like angrily played bass.

-tentacle

Ghastly and vivid. Extremely gruesome, but I'll be honest, my curiosity was perked. You did a great job forming an image in my mind of what was going on. I like the idea of hopping around to different worlds, but it would be nice to develope a storyline.

As for the writing itself, it's very well done, but it reads a lot like an essay. There's a slight overusage of complex sentences. Sometimes the reader needs a shorter line to give his mind something of a break. Anyhow, keep it up.