FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| tentacle 2006-08-27 ch 1, anon. | abuselovely. i want to hear the screeches like angrily played bass. -tentacle |
| Redeemed 2006-01-22 ch 2,  | abuseGhastly and vivid. Extremely gruesome, but I'll be honest, my curiosity was perked. You did a great job forming an image in my mind of what was going on. I like the idea of hopping around to different worlds, but it would be nice to develope a storyline. As for the writing itself, it's very well done, but it reads a lot like an essay. There's a slight overusage of complex sentences. Sometimes the reader needs a shorter line to give his mind something of a break. Anyhow, keep it up. |