 swaggering curses 2006-02-03 . chapter 1I like the idea and your quoting Marilyn Monroe in the first line, but I didn't feel that the style in which you wrote it added anything to this. The rhyming is pretty good, but your rhythm is off: "a SMILE apPEARS upON her FACE / [pause] WHICH fills UP the EMPty SPACE." It sounds stilted to read. But I like the idea and the last couplet, quite nice. =) |
 shinco 2006-01-22 . chapter 1That poem was really pretty! I'm so glad you finally wrote something again! ^_^ I'm glad you're ok, too! I've missed talking to you, and if I just wasn't a procrastinator, lol, I'd e-mail you, which I WILL, mark my words, I'm thinking on doing it in a few minutes, so wait for it! lol Pretty, pretty poem, I should try to do a calligram too! ^_^ |