That's really sweet. I think maybe if you read through it once, for some quick editing things, that would really tune it up... but not too much, because there's this nice immaturity about it.

And then you got on the bus and explained D&D to me the whole way home...

you've edited this since I last read it...it's better. the ending seems a bit weak, but other than that, it's really good!

yay for sugar high midgets!