I absolutely love this story, and I think it would be an awesome series! Or...it may already be and I just didn't see it...blah, I'll look later. Anyhoo, getting off subject...Really interesting, and, as said before, it would make a great series. I hope I see it later!

The whole thing is a little abrupt and rushed. It could really benefit from being longer, with more transition between "I ama an upset teenager" and "Hey, you're psychic!" It's like in the RENT movie, how they changed the dialog when Collind and Angel meets and it is all very abrupt and they are walking down the alley and Angel says "Oh yeah, I have AIDS" and Collins says "*grunt* Me too." In the musical, it flows and there are more segways into the new topics. I hope you vaguely understood what that all meant in relation to your story.

hey maia! it's the story!

i like it, just seems a bit too cliché for me, somehow.