 laughter at the funeral 2006-04-11 . chapter 1wow, you must have really made an effort with the idea of this...i also like the line dreaming in the water...the line "drown in a gondola", although a powerful one at first glance, could be a confusing one when you think of it...gondola is a vessel right? i think that "drown with a gondola" is more appropriate...i also think that the line "And write me of sunshine," can be extended to a couple or three of more nouns...i think it would quite make an effect with that stanza suddenly ending with "but stay there"...well that's what i think...and pls, if you have the time, pls do review some of my poems...
truly yours... |
 Ellin Louise 2006-04-09 . chapter 1I love the last line. I love the last two lines. I love references to photographs and pictures... not sure why... but I do... so you have scored points with me there. |
 Written 2006-03-29 . chapter 1I LOVE the middle stanza. drown in a gondola, romance the waiter. perfect. It's so shocking and almost funny as caricature of romance in venice. It's just perfect. |
 Sarah-Brighteyes 2006-02-26 . chapter 1O I love the reference to someone being in a far away country... a romance city to be exact.
Made your poem feel a bit exotic in a moody sort of way.
Very nice. I would have to say this is one of my favorites of yours so far. Excellent.
I think I am becoming addicted to your pieces. You have a nice flare of originality. I love it. |
 citrus scented 2006-02-06 . chapter 1i love this, the sense of letting go... and of course the whole idea of venice is just so powerful. "sinking with the city"- wonderful line. |
 emmathree 2006-01-26 . chapter 1Good God I love you.
This one sounds so... scornful.. Something that I haven't heard from you before -in your writing or in real life.
This one makes me smile, although I'm not sure why.
Maybe it's just cuz Venice rocks :p
Stuptactic work, as always. |
 poetic abortion 2006-01-24 . chapter 1pretty, pretty, pretty: me loves.
~* noelle |
 kvnchn 2006-01-24 . chapter 1i don't read any imagery but i still got images... *blink blink* umm... am i just special that way? But ya! This rocks liek HECK!
~|{3\/1[]\[]~ |
 Prevaricate 2006-01-24 . chapter 1Pretty. |
 The Red Queen04 2006-01-24 . chapter 1"Drown in a gondola" was a very shocking image. Shocking and therefore effective. Indeed your whole second stanza was quite good because you take cliched romantic imagery in a cliched romantic city and turn them on their head. Well done.
Cheers |