FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| frigg 2006-02-16 ch 1,   | Very nice, I love the first sentence and the part about 'the glass that kissed your backed'. What a way to say it. Cheers Junkd |
| squiggle-line 2006-01-27 ch 1, | I love the long run on sentence. Nice combination of imagery (mucky water...melting each and every coherent thought) and rambling (oh so thick skin). Minor thing: elf-shaped? Instead of elf shaped? "But like what I am feeling..." Is the "like" necessary? Are the quotation marks around "normal" necessary as well? I also like the ending. The one word is a nice contrast to the long sentence that opens the story. Plus, the "right" makes you're whole tone sound kind of wistful. Nice piece. |
| a lonely september 2006-01-26 ch 1, | this is so well written, wonderful job. |
| Strangerwithnoface 2006-01-24 ch 1, | Hm, it's nice, a little more of prose though, dontchya think? |