i'm not sure what to think of this one

Ooh, i like this a lot. very beautiful :)

--naomi

W O W .

That was amazing. Your imagery was so well-detailed that it really pained me to read what 'he' was right now. Beauty at its finest.

i like the descriptions; unconventional but give you an image in your mind...

"occasionally sized girl" is one of my favorite parts :)

this is my favorite of your peaces good job at fleshing out the subject.

this is so unqiue, but it really has a flavour and personality to every word. i love : "eyes radiated atomic wonders, pixel by pixel."...pixel by pixel is wicked. the whole is just amazing, the words and images tumble out one after another flawlessly... love it.

simply amazing

Woah... I mean... D.A.M.N.

You are absolutely tremendously astoundingly amazing. Beautiful and dreaming, but harsh and bitter. I Love it.

~Shavo~

Lovely words used. Good poem. It's wonderfully written.

enigmatic and subtle, ambiguous and so real of a person. confusing but perfect imagery love love how you end.

Hm, it seems to flow better if you switch sized, and girl around. Every line held a uniqueness that made me smile. Good job

hm... I keep seeing all of these portrait-type pieces around lately, but I think that this is my favorite so far. he's so... genuine, and the narrator sees him from a viewpoint startlingly clear. I adore the last two lines... seemingly unrelated, but then, it's his life, right? people are a modge-podge of all these random things and that's what makes this piece amazing-you captured that. gorgeous.

the details you choose in this culminate to such an intriguing picture of the individual. strictly regarding words, I am most drawn to "eyes radiated atomic wonders, pixel by pixel" and "stars and all, his shoes stank of grass and nothing delectable" but more than those I like the second last line, it really rings true and I can find shadows of it in myself.

mezzie

the first sentence is pure genius.

&the end makes me wonder whether he killed someone else or himself--vagueness intrigues me (sosomuch).

wonderful job!

(and very, very cool.)

THere are some things you need to read over and over agian because they don't quite sink in the first time, and others because it doesn't sink in and the words flow together in a matter so undeniably beautiful/addictive that you simply have too because life won't let you go on if you don't.