another great one by the
high queen of the night.

Damn. I wish I could write like this, drunk or otherwise.
The last five lines were amazing beyond description

'your pores are bleeding stardust'? Eh! YOU ARE SERIOUSLY LIKE A GENIUS OR SOMETHING.

'Enjoy the underworld.' I don't know how you meant it, but I imagine it as sarcasm, and it goes really well.

Lovely. Brilliant finality. Startling imagery.

i can't resist poems about outer space, and this is no exception. YOUR PORES ARE BLEEDING STARDUST. THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

I, the astronaut, / am grounded by gravity, / centripetal force grinding me into the grass. i feel helplessness in this.. like he can't get up ):

i don't really get the pomegranate part, but sometimes i do like to write random items into my poems. maybe you had a reason? i don't know :X

i like the last line, Enjoy the underworld. it's short and crisp, and it ends the poem beautifully.

thanks for your review on my poem btw (: it made me happy.

great

I can’t say much more than has already been said. It is beautifully classical married to a contemporary word choice. The imagery is very impressive. Absolutely lovely! Keep drinking... and never give up writing. You have loads of talent.

Adore the title/subject matter. The imagery is visually pleasing, but with a tinge of (beautiful) catastrophe. I lovelove 'your pores are bleeding stardust', 'celestial eel', pomegranates glittering between your teeth', and 'syrupy souls'.

you were drunk when you wrote this? that's quite astonishing - it's coherent and eloquent. i think the last two lines could be dropped, though, and leave the poem feeling more complete. the last two lines as they stand feel very abrupt and, well, unpoetic. that's my suggestion. cheers.

I really like your idea, and I think the pomegranate imagery is very well done. Obviously, I'm not a big fan of free verse, but I'll make a semi-exception for this poem. My least favorite part was about the "celestial eel"--I just feel like it could have been better. And the best part was: "Do not look at me / with pomegranates glittering between your teeth." That's great. And drinking is bad for you.

This is a good poem. There are so many themes in the Persephone/Proserpine story, including a motherly one that I don't think you used here. Anyway, great job. Great poem.

how fucking EXCELLENT! pomegranites! between your teeth! oh, how i could get so totally into that :P

I love all the interesting descriptions here. And the end... It's like saying, 'so you always wanted to be immortal, go enjoy the underworld.'Chilling.

This has a great disjointed surreal feel to it. Excellent work.

oh wow, this sounds absolutely gorgeous! Love those last two lines, so blunt.

Friggin' spectacular! Gorgeous!