FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| ignominy 2006-11-02 ch 1,  | abusethis is great. i love how detailed you are and i can see you meant the last line to be strong and it is. you should be very proud of this one. |
| Kuzuki Sugimorii 2006-10-09 ch 1, | abuseTension much? This is great. It shows the thoughts running through not just a swimmer's, but any athletes head before the big moment incredibly clearly. Nice work. I'll be watching for more from you. |
| x_eka_x 2006-10-08 ch 1, anon. | abuseah not signed in. anyways i like it. thanks for all the reviews! |
| shining gem 2006-02-05 ch 1, | abuseThank you for your kind words in your reviews! I really liked your wording, and how real this was. Once in a while your timing seemed a little off, but that could've been on purpose. Keep up the good work! |
| lirantha 2006-02-04 ch 1, | abuseYou capture the tension perfectly - thoughts racing faster than the body could ever manage - up to the very end where those last five lines (6, 6, 5, 5, and 8 syllables) grow shorter, like shallow breaths before the dive and the splash. You can almost hear the water in the s of "immersed" and the dulling of all above-surface sounds in all the n's and m's. Beautiful. =) (P.S. And thanks for the review!) |
| felicia13 2006-02-04 ch 1, | abuseOh, nice! I like this one. The vivid images compliment the tense excitement of the race. "And I am immersed in water." Awesome!! Keep up the awesome stuff!! Thanks for the review!! I really like the Silver Saline Anthology . . . Thanks bunches for your kind comments!! May inpsiration never leave you wanting! all my love,felicia |
| tdawgcars 2006-01-28 ch 1, | abuseNice poem...kept me interested the whole time! Nice job. Brandon |
| brokendreams21 2006-01-28 ch 1, | abuseAwesome poem! I know exactly how it feels! (I used to swim competitively too!) You describe the feelings to well and this is written so smartly! I love it! It sends my heart racing! Great job! |
| q is for quirks 2006-01-28 ch 1, | abuseoh, that was cool. good formatting. you could really see this one. good job. |