... :)
Oh.
This opened my eyes, and I live in a different world right about now. The light found me. *haleluah moment*
It's ingenious, I never considered it till now. How did 'table' get into 'vegetable', really?

The funny chumps got to me immediately and I got the giggle-disease (lethal, I know, I'm sorry) and it just made want to munch on whatever the narrator was eating :)

You're so right... You're superfly. And you've got a red squiggly line under you. :)

lol. I loved this.

Enjoy~

Quasi-relate. I was hoping for twelve million reviews on each thing, and found I can only get at maximum 2. *shrug* I'll take 'em.
You're an awesome writer. You should keep up with the writing of fictions.
(Yeah, I know, that sounded weird.)

Porps. :P

Sarcastic Presence

Too true on what you wrote. I used to be obsessed checking my emails, but now, I turned off my review alerts since I'm not expecting a lot of comments, let alone a constructive criticism. If I set my expectations so high, I'm bound to get disappointed.

I used to be in a yahoo group, where a few of us at here, give constructive criticism on our writings. I think everyone in the group is busy with life and the group is now dead. LOL.

Thanks for sharing this insightful and humourous essay.

Yet another awesome work! Sting, you remain my favorite author. I love the "hydrate" in Carbohydrate and "table" in Vegetable lines. I also laughed at MoRaL tImE! You crack me up like a very brittle hard boiled egg-shell. Keep 'em comin'!

This is a neat story! I like it! =)

Thank you for your review! Im glad you laughed!

LOL I LOVE this! It reminds me a lot of when i started fanfiction.net and fictionpress. I think everyone on the two sites can relate to this, and btw, a lot of the tips you thought out I had thought the same thing, and well... still use them... But yes, this was cute and very entertaining. (Oh, and I think the "hydrate" in carbohydrate MAY come from the hydrogen and oxygen atoms in the chemical formula of carbohydrate: C6H12O6 where there are 6 carbon, 12 hydrogen, and 6 oxygen).

You're right. This is a really great piece of advice that we could all use, whether we have just started putting our work on FictionPress or have been here for years. It's a good reminder - we're here for the fun. Who cares how many people read our writing?

One thing I used to do was check my e-mail about twenty times a day to see if I'd gotten any reviews. That's a bad idea because the more you do that, the more you think about it, and the more you start obsessing over it. And then, of course, it becomes more of a habit than a fun pastime.

Thanks for this essay. Your talent and maturity really shine through it (that, and your sense of humor). Awesome!

This is an interesting piece; at first I thought it was satire, until it settled into a humorous look at true-life experiences. I thought that the lists of things you discovered were very accurate, and they were able to draw their humor from that. More people should read this before coming to this site (I was like this before, as well).

And regarding "Another Modest Proposal": Thanks for your review! No, that didn't actually happen to me. I go to school at a Catholic university (Which is ironic. . .), so we don't get a lot of protesters. Too bad, though. Thanks again for taking the time to read it!

that's so true. i put all my heart into my fic, Nocte Yang, and hope that i get as many reviews as i did at fanfiction.net, but i got like, next to nothing. poor me... lol!

Haha! Lovely. Just the right amount of humor and truth. Oh, it so rings true. Nicely done.

Aww! It was kinda sad at the end. But cute.. The things discovered were very, very true. But I love this site. Even when only one person is reading my stuff, it still motivates me more than when no one but me is reading it. Funny though, my first review on here told me the story I posted wasn't too well-written, and the second told me I should die & never post on here again. (Although if I did the first, you'd figure the second one would come automatically.) Anyway. Nicely written, I liked it. =)

look, a review!

haha, this is nice. very true. *rolls eyes* Yes, it happened to me. I got one review on fanfiction; a flame, no less. :\

But, though it's not the point, I like your point that one fabulous review can really boost your spirits.

(i especially like the being-sidetracked-by-words thing. that happens to me so often.)

That's interesting-I never really thought about that. I usually don't get many constructive reviews(well, I have one here on fictionpress, but that's not what I mean. When I show it to friends, they say, "Nice job!" or just go blurbing to the entire computer room the start of one of my paragraphs in an extremely loud voice, embarassing me.) I myself give constructive reviews to whatever I read, and my only hope is that that person will actually listen to me.

I sure hope you weren't expecting a constructive review with this...if so, sue me. Well...no...not really.

~`Khrogan`~