creepy. can't wait to find out what happens next!

Your Friend HayHay

ah terribly scary but great. y did u write it? is this what you want to do

Hey there- Our little Secret is a great story, Keep it up I cant wait to read the rest.
Rowena

Hmm, interesting. A different approach to how other writors usually sterotype their characters. This character has no idea what to do in a situation like this (which is how any real person would most likely react), thus making the story much more realistic. However, I was a little puzzled why the teacher in question didn't go right to some figure of authority and report Ryan's behavior. Unless...are these kids by any chance in Jr. High or High School?

~Bob Evans

I just think your characters could be just a little more human. Example: I'm sure if I was a teacher and was just kidnapped by my student, I would definitely be more shaken up.

But this story is really unique. I've never read anything like it, kudos !

heavy chapter. really nice. i enjoyed it alot! what i meant by heavy was like boom sort of. but great job, seriously!~Ashlyn~

This is such an interesting story. I love the way you've created the suspense at various points. Nice work!

Ooh fascinating beginning. I noticed that sometimes you said things like "I was really scared." You can describe these things in different ways.

Use sentences with forms of 'be' sparingly. You could always say that she felt her knees knocking, or goosebumps materialized on her arms, etc. It just gives a more visual feeling of the emotion.

Good work. I'll be reading more.

-Sakka-Fenikkusu

Whoa, I just read the first four chapters and I have to say this is a really cool plot line. Creepy nerd turns psycho is something totally original, especially how she is trying to keep it all a secret. Hope she makes it!

NO! I just realized that I already reviewed the last chapter. Oopsies. Well, thanks for the review on my poem. Another good chapter. I had nearly forgotten about this story. Nearly. I can't wait to see what happens next. Great job.

not bad at all! I like, even if it drifts around to various points, lol

I could've sworn I read and reviewed this chapter... Oh well. That was good. I liked the ending, best. I really can't wait to read more because this is so interesting. I am going to write myself a note that I didn't read and review chapter four yet if I have to. He he! Well, keep up the good writing.Bye for now,Aimee.

I loved it. There were 1 or 2 spelling mistakes (I would tell you where, but I lost it!) but nothing distracting. I can't wait util chapter 4!

Well, I'm in high school and I can pretty much place you in the same age based on your style. I was kind of hoping for a deeper understand of Ryan's personal situation rather than a superficial "nerd gone nuts" storyline. The number one hindering factor here is the dialogue--it's a bit stale. Real people don't often talk in full, lengthy sentences. Just try and place yourself in your characters' shoes. The idea that I get when I'm reading this is that you, as the author, are pretty distant and detached from the story. Show us that you care about these characters. Good luck.

Hi awsome story keep it going. I know fear the so called "nerds" lol^^Once again great story!Byee!