I'm not sure I liked the repeat at the end. I like this loads though, reminds me of Tristan and isolde, practically illogically, but nice none the less.

For some reason I really like this one. I love the description of the passing of time and the bitterness of it. I like how you echoed the repetition in the first lines with the repetition in the last ones; it kind of brought it to a more solid closure. Lovely. )