It sounds good! Keep it up!

Thank you so much for your reviews! And yes, I'm workin on the next chapter at the moment. Half way done.

And also, thank you for the help on the grammar! I wasn't sure if you are supposed to lowercase he or she after they're done talking, but now I know. So much for listening in English class, eh.

Oh, very good and you left me hanging with a cliffie! Darn you!! *starts crying* This story is just so darn interesting. Now I'm wondering all the same questions as Marci, but I feel okay with this Jacob guy. Please don't me be wrong! *bites nails* Darn it... you have me on the edge of my seat! Don't wait so long for another update, m'k? :P Just kidding, I know you can't rush art. Plus, I'm not one to talk. -_-

Technical stuff...

"...fast food even thought its late?" Two mistakes there "thought" to "though" and "its" to "it's"

I think "entrance" is spelled with an "a" not an "e."

"'...such a long line.' He said, looking..." Change the period to a comma and lower case "he." This goes for all dialog of this nature.

"'Is this fine?' She asked..." Lower case "she."

Overall, nicely done and I look, with great anicipation, toward the next chapter.

I'm loving this! The plot is very exciting and it is VERY well written! Can't wait for more! :D

Oh my goodness... *feels bed for Marci*

Very well written! ^^ Write on!