beautiful imagery~~ very breathtaking~ wonderful work!

keep writing!

I like the second and third stanza more because I don't really get the first, and there's less impact there. But the rest of the poem makes up for it really well. Not bad!

lazy to sign in sorry!

hmm, i don't quite like it.

it's technically perfect, yes, but there's a lacking in heart, i think. i dunno, the hardware is there but not the heartware. y'get me? but overall it's beautiful.

I like how this poem slowly "wakes up"..how it leads with increasing momentum (for want of a better word!) to the ending which turns out to be more about a human experience than about observing nature at work (speculation here haha). "The water has doubled/Their appearance; it does not hurt to have more" is a nice bit, thought-provoking -perhaps this has a double-or-more meaning? not sure if the questioning-and-answering portion in the stanza works well. on one hand i like the pensiveness..it adds to the whole scene which retains, despite the "dancing" and the "chasing" a sense of serenity.on the other, it sounds a bit self-gratifying...maybe it's the "must"..don't like the absoluteness...but it's a personal thing for me.hmm my favourite stanza is the last one. "flying...like lily pads" has a very happy feel to it :D and the last line reinforces the optimism and the energy of life that persists even in "the season of nothingness". Overall, i was able to enjoy this even though it seems culturally remote, mostly because you've written it sensitively, focusing on the sentiments we can all identify with instead of merely depicting a winter scene with birds in them. Keep writing! and so sorry it took me so long to do this!

~Pam

Why, your style's definitely changed. You're more matter-of-fact now and letting the words themselves do the job of enchanting the reader, I think. Some parts are gems - I like the part about lily pads, but sometimes being so matter-of-fact and calm observer sort of thing kinda dilutes the emotion, the passion, you know what I mean? Yeah, but I still like it (: