... I never knew you wrote for FictionPress, Bain. xDD

It has been awhile since you have worked on this story. Bain has so many relations that it gets confusing, but I can't say that I am any better.

The insanity scene was interesting to say the least. Insanity can be fun to write. It runs on a whole different line of logic.

It is good to see Mir doing better and being active.

Update!


I like it

The poor little girl.

I liked it. The chapter, I mean.

A kitten? That is kinda random and fluffy... Kali has mood swings. Lots of them. XD Waiting for the next one, now that I am finally caught up.

I know you are going to get a lot of alerts for a lot of reviews, but they are all just from me. Well, probably most of them.

Kali rambles; a lot. I think it is funny.

"But it there is nobody here,..."- you did the "it" instead of "if" thing again.

“Well, we do have some wine it you would prefer…”- should it be "if" instead of "it"?

I think I already read this chapter, but I couldn't remember. So, I read it again. I liked it. On to the next chapter...!

I seriously thought you would never update again. lol I suppose you've just been busy. Anywho, I spotted with my little eye one spelling error: "visios" should be "vision." I think that this chapter has to be my favorite so far. It was sad at the end, but that was a well done sadness.

Your dialogue is interesting to say the least, and Kali is a funny little fellow. It is kind of hard to remember the characters and the situations to this point, because it has been awhile, and I do read many stories. Actually, I was thinking about this story the other day.

The relationship between Bain and his father is indeed a strange one. It is a wonder that his father doesn't imprison him or exile him.

The story about the redeye was interesting. It is sad about the child. It reminds me of a story or a poem (can't remember which) about a man who hit a pregnant doe with his car. The doe was dead, but the embryo was not. There is no choice but to kill it.

"Kali‘s brows furrowed. 'Do you have a twitch?'" lol Priceless. I love this chapter. Kali is a very interesting character and the interaction between him and Bain is just too amusing. There's usually an absense of amusingly silly characters in your stories. But they give everything a lighter mood.

Okay, I am back again. I am still amused, and Kali is an amusing little thing indeed. I would have thought that Bain would have been a bit more abrupt with him with all the questions about the eyepatch. In a way, Kali reminds me of my character Josef. Has a brain between the ears, but no common sense.

Strangely enough, Kali reminds me of a girl. I think it may have been the long hair issue, and then the clothes shopping. Hey, we all must be in style, mind you.

I see musical bands and artists in many things, mind you. I have a CD by someone called Vitali. He's a keyboardist from some band. I can't remember right off, and I also listen to a band called Evereve.

Very Good! Sorry for not reviewing sooner. I love this chapter. The scene with the apple picking was good and I can't wait to learn more about what happened to him as a child!

One thing, I think you meant: "This was because he had, supposedly, frightened off one of the most recent diplomats." not, "This because he had, supposedly, frightened off one of the most recent diplomats."

Lapotorus

Hmm. I am intreigued! Update!

You have a character named Oren!! My main char from Gray Hair is Oren!! Yeah...just had to mention it. lol Bain smirks at everything. It's endearing though. So Kalt didn't bring up the ink mess at the meeting...there is more to that forgery/treason thing right? Anywho, keep well.

I like Bain. He's so flippant. The start of this was unusually interesting(flippancy always is) I think you should stop using those dates. I never pay them any mind. I noticed a mistake: "If he was carefully," careful. And there's this paragraph where you detail just a tad too much about the door bolt: " The rod was longer than the door, so that when Haro,..." Kalt's a bit of a callous man. Not going to see his wife and all. So does this make Bain a half Rocan half Fyd since his mom's Fyd(i assume). They have such a tricky plan to get Melyse...

You finally updated this...I suppose I'll finally be getting around to reading it. We both know that this scares away dozens of folk. lol